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“R&B Divas” recap (2.2): First Class Divas (Or Not)

This week, R&B Divas was a whole barrel of drama. Like, drama up the wazoo. Up to our ears in drama. And let me say: some of these ladies are pushin’ it, y’all.

First, in good news, we get to see Faith‘s face again, hurrah! I could listen to her calm, raspy voice all day. She’s here to sort out this SyleenaNicci drama that imploded last episode, and it is going to take some serious doing. Her plan is to add a neutral party to the mix in the form of legendary diva Angie Stone. The idea is that Angie’s seen it all and can bestow some of her wisdom on the feuding divas. Angie says of herself: “DIVA is determined, intelligent, victorious Angie.” Respect.

But the first time around that they all meet ends up a little rough. Well, every time they meet ends up a little rough, but let’s take it one drama at a time.

After Syleena’s given Faith her side of the story, all of the original divas meet up with Angie and Angie gives them a spiel about women not supporting each other in this business enough and how they can be role models in that respect if they make this tour work. It seems like a solid start. Then Syleena and Nicci start getting a little feisty, and Angie brings out the big guns. The big guns being a little bottle of anointing oil she carries around with her as a reminder of God’s blessing. And as everyone continues to argue, she walks over and anoints each of their foreheads with it and it is TOO MUCH. I feel like laughing at this proves I’m going to hell but we all know I’m going to hell anyway and seriously who carries anointing oil with them? A first class diva, that’s who.

Surprisingly, the person who really freaks out is Monifah. I think she’s just sick and tired of all this yammering and to be honest, I’m with her. And when she says the obvious, that everybody needs to work on their own shit, everyone gets defensive and throws it back on her, and she, like me, is just over it. Keke also gets emotional at one point and talks about how they’re not representing God right – anointing oil and all! And then that whole piece kind of dissolves. So. Sorry, Faith.

What should happen is that Nicci should stop being so crazy over an event (the mush) that didn’t even happen to her, but (supposedly) to Monifah. Monifah can take of herself. Syleena should also admit that she was perhaps a little overdramatic at her house. That said, I am still Team Syleena because I’d be pissed too if someone kept repeatedly declaring me to be an awful person to everyone who will listen. Case in point: after this first disastrous meeting, Nicci strategically attempts to get everyone on her side. First she meets with Faith and LaTocha, to draw in both the Group Leader and The New Girl. Things seem to be going OK until Nicci says that it’s not just her that has a problem with Syleena: everybody does! Mo does! Keke does! Even though we’ve never heard them complain? She then goes to Mo’s and tries to make her feel bad about her outburst with Angie, because as she tells the camera, a friend of her enemy is an enemy of hers. Man, Mo, you don’t need this. You are being shady as balls, Nicci.

In less dramatic news, we also get to see more of LaTocha, first at her home with her husband and son. Her husband Rocky is also her manager, and they share some cute air time together but they’re no Keke and Michael. Probably because they appear much more functional, at least in a more peaceful sort of way. Her son is also amazing and adorable and I love him.

If you want more Keke and Michael, by the way, Michael now has his very own mini webseries on TVOne’s website, where you can get even more scenes like this:

Later, LaTocha and Keke also hang out for a bit, as they don’t know each other that well and there’s the potential for bonding over having husbands who are also managers. This seems like a good idea! LaTocha opens up the door to bonding time by complaining how sometimes it’s hard to switch from business mode to family mode at the end of the day. To which Keke responds “Eh, I just tell Michael to shut the hell up.” Aaand begin a series of amazing sequences where sweet LaTocha just does not know how to deal with the bizareness brashness of Keke Wyatt, all of which is rather entertaining to watch.

Apparently this hanging out went well enough though that the two of them and their husbands later have a couples dinner. Michael lets Rocky and LaTocha in on some of Keke’s rocky personal history; LaTocha asks how therapy worked out for her. Keke says it worked “pretty good” in the fact that she now “doesn’t want to choke somebody to death until they’re dead.”

Rocky is just as sweet as his wife and encourages Keke to find the peace within herself that he knows she has. Keke then says she’s real happy about this dinner, as they’ve been trying to find another couple to become friends with. She then says the saddest sentence ever uttered: “I don’t really have friends at all.”

However, my Keke feels are about to rocket all over the place as we approach our second group meeting with Angie, this time with LaTocha included. And this time it’s going to be on more real Angie first class terms, starting with, don’t interrupt her while she’s speaking. Which Keke promptly breaks by ordering wine from the waiter. Begin tension.

Nicci and Syleena might be starting to resolve their issues, though, with a heavy emphasis on the “might be” as Syleena is still hella pissed, even though Nicci is now putting on her nice girl face.

This gets interrupted pretty quickly though by Keke and Angie. Now, I admit the wine ordering shouldn’t be a huge deal, while also understanding how it could’ve still been slightly irritating to Angie after she had just commanded everyone’s full attention. But Keke continues to dig her grave by talking sass back about it and then saying, completely out of nowhere, “And I’m not old, so I don’t have to go on tour.” Hoo-boy. Way to insult not just Angie but really the whole table. Angie takes that as her sign, and leaves. Nicci goes after her and convinces her to come back, but the fight continues. Keke says Angie has to stop talking at her like she’s a child, and SHE leaves the table. Nicci goes after her. Sigh. She eventually returns, but even as Angie apologizes for appearing to act like their mother as Keke said, which is not her intent, Keke refuses to look at her and rolls her eyes in all sorts of Keke ways.

I saw some divisiveness on Tumblr about this mess of a lunch; it seems the fight between fans has now become Team Angie v. Team Keke, with a lot of people on the Team Keke side. But the more I watch this scene, the more foolish and immature Keke becomes, to the point where I feel like my Keke Wyatt love may be wavering, and wavering hard, which I never thought I’d say. Listen, Keke says of Angie that you have to give respect to earn respect, and “it even says that in the Bible,” so if you want to get to that holy place at the end of the road, you better act right. But dear Keke, you’re the one you called Angie an “old ass bitch” as you walked away, and you also said she should “go kill herself” while you talked to Nicci on the stairs. Come on. I understand you feel that Angie’s being condescending, but in Angie’s heart I don’t think she’s being anything but a classy ass diva trying to help, in the finest sense of the word diva. Which I think she proved by trying to apologize.

And I think there is something to say for respecting those who have experience and wisdom in your field, especially when it’s someone that Faith specifically brought in for the good of the group. Keke gets so defensive at the drop of a pin that it makes her ugly. And I think she was so charming last season because she was working on that ugliness, while still being goofy and lovable. But this season so far there’s no vulnerability, just a heightened divaness that is turning me off big time. Ugh, you guys. What is happening? Is it just me?

There was so much drama in this episode overall that I’m almost wondering if there’s higher ups pulling the strings and demanding more of it, while at the same time the divas do still act so real that I would doubt it. But what made the show so special last season was the camaraderie and the realness between all the ladies, and how they all brought themselves to a higher level, even through the bumpy parts. Next episode seems to focus on Monifah and her own singing career, so I’m really looking forward to that. And hopefully, we’ll get back to the divas I love soon.

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