“Scott and Bailey” recap (3.5): The Stories of Skeletons

The House of Horrors investigation continues on this week’s Scott & Bailey, in addition to Rachel’s very recent marriage rapidly crumbling. Fun times in Manchester!

If there is anything positive about this investigation, it’s that we get to see more of DSI Julie Dobson. The episode starts with her and Gill examining the grim row of skeletons exhumed from the Bevan household, and as they drive away, talking smack and figuring shit out like the damn fine detectives they are. This convo is brought to a halt, however, when they get a call informing them that yet another body has been found at the home, this one wedged between some floor boards. It turns out to be the missing sister, Sheila. Which really makes you think, if you didn’t already, that it’s a wonder Helen and Julie got out of that piece alive.


Shipping them so hard.

Rachel continues to interrogate Joe Bevan and he continues to play the Befuddled Old Man shtick, but she never stops pressing. As Janet and New Kid on the Block, DS Rob, watch the interviews from another room, Rob comments on Rachel, “She sure is good, isn’t she?” Janet replies with a little smile, “Yeah, well, she’s trained,” which I take to actually mean either, “Of course she is, you dumbass,” or “I know; she really, really is!,” followed by hearts floating heavenwards from her eyes like a cartoon. One or the other.


I mean, Rachel, amIright?

Janet teases Rachel about the interrogation later on as they’re heading towards the hotel where Helen’s staying. Part of Joe Bevan’s reasoning as to why there was a mattress in his cellar covered in his semen was that he masturbated there, which leads Janet and Rachel to a perfectly Scott & Bailey conversation about how women wouldn’t do such a thing, because women are LADIES. As they say, “We don’t wank.” “We don’t fart.” “We don’t get drunk. We don’t swear.”


Nope, never.

The laughs end when they eventually get to Helen’s room, which they have to have a hotel worker open for them, as Helen is currently passed out face down on the bed, cuddling with a whole bunch of pills and alcohol.


Well, damn.

Helen’s partner with the hair shows up at the hospital, where Rachel assures her that while it didn’t seem like Helen was messing around, she was conscious and in good hands.

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