D-Yikes on South Park

I know I’m a little late to this party, but I just watched the “D-Yikes!” episode of South Park, in which Ms. Garrison (formerly Mr. Garrison) declares she is gay.

And how does she fulfill the lesbian stereotypes? Well, let me count the ways.

1. Man-hating: Janet (Ms. Garrison) says men are stupid and think with their penises.
2. Pissed off: Janet is angry, which another lesbian interprets as “strong.”
3. Ugly: Well, not that anyone on this show is particularly cute. Except Kenny.
4. The Shallow Lesbian Dating Pool and the Lesbian Bar: Most of the women at the “girl bar” (which is called “Les Bos,” ha ha) have slept with each other. And most of them have bad haircuts and listen to “Closer to Fine” when they drink beer — and to “Come to My Window” when they kiss. In the ladies’ room.

5. How do two women even have sex, anyway? That’s what Janet wonders, but soon she finds herself shrieking, “Scissor me timbers!”

Yeah, it sounds fairly offensive and (even worse) kind of lame. But if you’re a South Park fan — if and only if — you’ll probably find yourself amused. The show still knows how to push stereotypes to the limit, and this episode also features a parody of 300. As the battle begins, pitting lesbians against Persians, Ms. Garrison says, “This isn’t crazy. THIS IS LESBOS.” Har.

As AE user browne pointed out in the forums, Andrew Sullivan had this to say about the episode:

South Park‘s creators actually get and love the subcultures they lampoon. The amazing thing about this week’s South Park is how detailed the observation was. The lesbian bar was a classic — it was clearly created by people with actual and acute knowledge of what lesbian bars are like — and there were many hilarious shades of recognizable dykiness in the cartoon figures. In fact, this week’s episode was a landmark in mainstream depiction of lesbianism. It didn’t rely on any hoary stereotypes that spring from ignorance and fear; it created stereotypes based on knowledge and fondness.”

“Landmark”? Um, hyperbolic much? And since when is Sullivan an expert on lesbian bars? As for the “fondness,” I don’t know if I’d use that word, but I agree that the episode wasn’t mean-spirited — with the possible exception of the use of the word “faggot” (uttered during the battle with the Persians). All in all, it was quintessential South Park.

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