Gaytime TV: “The Bold and the Beautiful” recap (May 29 – June 1)

 
 

This week on The Bold and the Beautiful, Karen and Danielle paid a visit to Spencer Publications for a meeting with Dollar Bill Spencer. Danielle even got a little dressed up in a colorful blouse.

Unfortunately Bill is elsewhere, trying to bust Hope’s dad Deacon out of jail. Bill, apparently, has that kind of power. That’s dangerous.

Katie is in his office, though, and she is happy to meet Danielle, and to see Karen. She shares her news with them: She’s pregnant! The women congratulate her but Karen is like “Um, Bill as a daddy again? That s–t cray.” “Somehow I can’t imagine Bill Spencer at a changing table,” Danielle (really) says. Katie laughs it off like he didn’t ask her for an abortion last week and says he will be helping her take care of the baby when it arrives. Mhm.

Katie gives Bill a ring to find out where he could be that he’s standing up his own sister. Bill answers and basically says he blew Karen off. Rude. Katie relays the news and the women all exchange looks that say “That Bill is up to something!” But no one knows what.

Karen and Dani leave — until they see Bill’s car pull up, what feels like five minutes later. How the hell did this happen so quickly when Bill had been in a prison cell and then on a plane in between the time Karen and Dani were with Katie and returned? I suppose it’s like how kids grow up overnight on this show. I bet Katie’s baby will be born next week and fighting for Thomas’ hand in marriage in a month’s time.

Anyway, outside of his office they have a brief conversation from which we figure out what they’re doing there:

Dani: Maybe we should just reschedule.
Karen: No, Bill’s here now and he’s going to see you. We just have to make sure we handle this really carefully.
Dani: It’s an interview, Karen.
Karen: WIth my brother, and he doesn’t know we’re a couple and I don’t want him to know
Dani: I don’t think “are you involved with my sister” is a standard interview question. I know your brother can be an insensitive jerk —
Karen: Is an insensitive jerk.
Dani: But he’s also one of the biggest names in publishing. This could be really great for me.
Karen: OK, let me talk to him first.

Karen gives her brother crap for blowing her off and he slinks down in his chair, per usual.

“I wasn’t supposed to be meeting with you anyway,” Bill says. “I’m supposed to be meeting with your roommate.”

Karen informs him Dani’s outside, then she congratulates him on the impending baby. He admits he told Katie to terminate the pregnancy (because she has a health condition, but that’s very obviously just useful to him in encouraging her abortion, not his real reason) and then they start talking about Liam as a way to segue into the show’s major storyline right now: The Hope/Liam/Steffy relationship. (Note: To those of you who don’t understand why I’m Team Steffy, she’s just way more fun to watch! Plus I just think Liam is not worthy of either woman, really. He’s a dufus.)

Back to Karen. She tells her brother Dani’s a really talented writer and asks him to be nice. “Try not to be so you,” she says, to which he replies, “I’m not the one who needs to lighten up. You need to find yourself a guy. Like pronto, before you start taking in lost little puppies and stray cats. You need to get out of that house and find yourself a hot romance.” Karen looks slightly amused. “Thanks for the advice.” 

I love how Bill thinks it’s so strange that his sister has a woman living with her, like she’s taking in charity cases. It’s so impossible to him they’d be lovers it doesn’t even cross his mind. Karen opens the office door and tells Dani, “He’s all yours” and Crystal Chappell makes a face like she’s ready to do the damned thing. At this point I’m just wondering what she’s going to do to prove she’s a good writer to him, and if her work is in Curve magazine.

Once Karen exits, Dani tells Bill she’s a freelance writer but she wants “to settle down.” She starts telling him about a time she interviewed a famous yogi who took off before they finished the piece and so she went and tracked him down in the Himalayas. “What you need is a writer who isn’t afraid to get dirty. I get what I go after,” Dani says. “Working freelance is like every job is a first date. I’d like a relationship, with benefits.”

OK, I admit — this is kind of a weird way to phrase things while talking to a possible employer. The conversation just turns into something else altogether when Bill decides Dani means that she wants to move out of Karen’s place and go it alone.

Dani: I don’t see what my living arrangements have to do with —
Bill: Come on now. You vacation with my sister, you’re living in her house, you two are close.
Dani: Why are we talking about your sister? I thought you wanted to get to know me better.
Bill: I am. You intrigue me Danielle. That isn’t easy to do.

And I thought this was a job interview! Dani should just give this up. Magazines hardly pay anymore as it is.

Danielle leaves but Karen comes back in, asking “Did Danielle get the job?” But things get even weirder when Bill says he isn’t sure if he’ll hire her because he “doesn’t want to put himself in an uncomfortable situation.” Then Bill says something even more wild than I imagined: “I know Danielle is your friend, but she’s a bigger freak than you realize.”

Karen and I are both like “WTF?”

Bill: That behavior during a job interview — she was hitting on me the whole time, Karen.
Karen: You think she was flirting with you?
Bill: I don’t think anything. She was practically undressing me with her eyes.

Karen tries to convince Bill that Dani was definitely not trying to get with him, but he “knows when a woman is hitting on [him]. It happens all the time.” “Give her a shot,” Karen said. “She’s an incredible writer and I’m sure you will see that you read her all wrong.”

Yes. Very wrong, unless Bold and the Beautiful is taking this storyline to a place I definitely do not want it to go. Somehow I’m pretty sure this is just a case of Bill thinking he’s the bomb, though. No thank you.

 
 

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