OK, so here is how this is going to go down: I’m going to recap the episode and then have a long (probably very long) section at the end where I try to unpack some of the issues I have and you might have with this episode.
Since first hooking up a week ago, Amy and Liam have not even left the art room. Liam is worried about losing some of his precious brain cells to paint fumes, but Karma has a lifetime’s worth of art-themed fantasies to live out. (So far he’s drawn her like one of his French girls, she’s come to life as Galatea, and I was going to say something about a Pollock painting, but restraint, Atwell.)
NOW LET’S ACT OUT THE SCENE WHERE PATRICK SWAYZE GOES
TO HEAVEN AND NEVER COMES BACK.
She promises that they can go public with their relationship just as soon as Karma can gently end things with Amy. So, sometime around graduation. And Liam is all, “OK, BUT I HATE LYING. LIKE, IF THERE WAS ANYTHING THAT COULD CAUSE ME TO MAKE A HORRIBLE, LIFE-RUINING DECISION, IT WOULD BE FINDING OUT SOMEONE HAD LIED TO ME. JUST A HEADS UP.”
The next day is Amy’s mom’s wedding, so Karma shows up to help her bestie rehearse her toast.
Karma: Sweetie I love you but I know you copied and pasted that from Wedding Crashers.
Amy: Fuck, was it the part where I said “Show us your tits”?
Karma: Not to sound like a motivational poster, but, you know, why don’t you speak from the heart?
Amy: Because my heart is like an overstuffed closet, and if I open the door even a little bit, all this stuff will come pouring out and ruin my entire life.
Karma: OOH LOOK! A TEXT FROM LIAM.
Of course, Amy has no clue at all that Karma and Liam are getting their physical graffiti on. It’s bloody Shakespearean.
Over in boytown, Liam stares at his sexts from Karma and sighs with the ardor of Narcissus admiring his own reflection. Also deep in the throes of masculine passion is Shane, who is convinced Pablo is trying to win his affection by posting his adorability on social media. He’s all like “look at this gorgeous loser, just rescuing puppies and helping old ladies cross the street and dressing to the nines all in the hopes that I will fall for him.” Even when he was dressed in that cowboy getup for homecoming, Shane has never been more precious. Since Pablo and Karma are both at the wedding, our two Romeos disguise themselves as busboys to be near their paramours. (Damn, this really is Shakespearean.)
Speaking of the wedding, Amy’s grandma is the shit. Just drawlin’ about how the ceremony was a bit too religious for her taste, and taking hits on her flask to get through the reception. What I really want is for her and Grandma Marin to have their own show.
IF YOU MENTION THE DEW ON YOUR LILY I WILL JUST DIE.
What I really don’t want is for Liam Booker to be here at all, but I don’t control TV. He whisks Karma behind a shrubbery and they make out, relishing the secrecy and danger of it all—which is a little self-contradictory for someone who apparently has a deadly allergy to lies and subterfuge.