“Faking It” recap (1.7): Unfake My Heart

Previously on Faking It, positively nothing out of the ordinary occurred. The sun went up, the sun went down, with nary a confusing lesbian kiss to be had. This is according to Karma, who would just as soon never discuss the events of the threesome for the rest of her natural life. Like, she would Eternal Sunshine herself if that were an option.

fakingit7.1I HAVE RELEASED ALL THE FEELINGS INTO MY HAIR AS ESSENTIAL OILS.

But Amy, as the queerer of the two, needs to process.

fakingit7.2I HAVE WRITTEN A PLAY IN WHICH EVERY SECOND OF OUR KISS IS ITS OWN SCENE IT IS THREE HOURS LONG.

Karma claims that she ran away because she feels guilty for making Amy walk her down the aisle of virginity to hand her off to Liam. Which, to be fair, was a shitty thing to do. But Amy is convinced she’s just running from her true feelings, which we would all certainly prefer to be true. Actually, let me rephrase that: which anyone who saw Karma’s love-struck face would assume to be true.

Whatever the reason, shit just got way too real for Karma, and she thinks it’s time they finally pull the plug on Operation Reverse Beard. She has even made one of her adorable binders on tips and tricks to pull off a perfectly amicable celebrity style breakup (of which the gold standard, in my opinion, will always be Bruce Willis and Demi Moore).

fakingit7.3I LIKED THE ONE THAT SAID “LESBIANS” A LOT BETTER.

At school, Amy tells Shane the whole story of The Kiss, and he swoons and envies the elegance of the lesbian sexual act, which is correct. We do have the other demographics beat. But then Amy tells the part where Liam and his lips came in and ruined everything.

Shane: Gay men of Earth want to know: what’s it like kissing Liam Booker?
Amy: You know in Harry Potter when Harry gets his wand and like, some sparks shoot out?
Shane: Wow, sparks.
Amy: Yeah, but kissing Karma was like when Harry gets on his broomstick for the first time and soars into the clouds and it feels so right and brave and scary and wonderful.
Shane: Cool, but that broomstick flew straight into the Whomping Willow when you kissed Liam.

I know I’ll be hearing about this bit of dialogue in the comment section this week as proof that this show doesn’t really respect lesbian sexuality. And yeah, it might bother me if Amy had ever self-identified as a lesbian. But what she really is, is a thoroughly confused 15-year-old ball of hormones and emotions, and I refuse to see her lynched for having chemistry with a guy. Over the course of a life, you’ll have chemistry with a lot of people, and that just means as much or as little as you want it to. And Amy is very clear that even if Liam knows his way around a pair of lips, it’s Karma that she has Feelings for. Now all she has to do is keep their fake relationship together long enough for Karma to figure that out herself.

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