“Faking It” recap (1.5): Croquembusted

 
 

Previously on Faking It, Amy discovered that she identifies as Karmasexual, and began quietly lobbying for a K to be tacked on to LGBTQ. Karma and Liam were a zipper away from Doing It, but Liam was violently assaulted by a boner-killing attack of conscience. Meanwhile, in the background, Shane and Lauren continued to be perfect little Slytherins, just hatchin’ schemes and lookin’ fine.

This week opens with Karma showing up at Amy’s, equipped with an impressive supply of junk food (truly, my metabolism is the only thing I miss about high school) and a promise to make this weekend all about friend time.

Karma: It’ll be just you, me, a couch, and hours of hate-watching Twilight.
Amy: Hate-watching. Yes. That is definitely what I am doing with Kristen Stewart’s face and her hair and…nevermind, I can’t. It’s my mom’s bridal shower.
Karma: Even better! Crab cakes and unattended glasses of Prosecco! Come on, we need some time together with no Liam Booker or pretend French kissing.
Amy: OK. But maybe we should keep up with the kissing just so we don’t get rusty.

Amy goes downstairs for some supplies and runs into her mother and Lauren, who are putting together gift bags for the shower, which will never not remind me of Alice and Dana. Amy is certain that Lauren is just cozying up to Farrah to make her jealous, but the thing is: it’s working. It’s one thing for Amy to have to live with the fact that her mother doesn’t quite get her, is struggling to accept her, and constantly critiques her personal appearance. But it’s something else to see her effortlessly bonding over flower arrangements with Lauren.

fakingit5.1IF I CANNOT HAVE YOUR UNCONDITIONAL LOVE, NO ONE CAN.

So Amy pouts and Lauren retaliates by saying it’s a double standard that Karma gets to sleep over when Lauren’s boyfriend could never do that. And losing same-bed sleepover privileges is one of the few things that does suck about coming out when you have to stay with your parents. In an effort to bring them together, Farrah commands that Amy and Karma accompany Lauren to Dallas to fetch her croquembouche, a dessert that was very of-the-moment about six years ago.

Cut to: Roadtrip. Amy and Karma are in full-on BFF mode, which for them looks like cuddling, deep tissue massages, and games of twenty questions that are a lot more about mind reading than deduction. It’s so intimate that you can kind of see how everyone assumed they were lesbians. Lauren rolls her eyes and bangs her head against the steering wheel, all in an effort to disguise that Amy isn’t the only one in the car suffering from jealousy.

fakingit5.2

Meanwhile, back in Austin, Liam invites Shane to take advantage of our youth’s hookup culture, by which he means: go to a gay bar and try to pick up stray straight chicks. That is both an admittedly brilliant strategy and another very refreshing testament to the boundary-breaking power of their friendship. And anyone who wants to cry foul about these two boys going out to objectify their quarry can harken back to last week when Amy did the same exact thing. Of course, it wouldn’t be Faking It if it didn’t needle you a little bit too, so you get to see Liam flaunting his acceptance of homosexuality like a super cool/wildly asymmetrical haircut. The search for a meaningless hookup is complicated by the fact that Shane has actual standards for the men he allows to muss up his perfect hair, while Liam asks only of his ladies that they have a pulse, and he seems flexible on that point. They hop around from gay boy/straight girl units (a nice little dig at the continued accessorization of gay men) until a pair of twins stroll in, looking like they just escaped from Hitler Youth a cult Mount Olympus Ralph Lauren’s factory farm.

fakingit5.3INSERT YOUR OWN THING THEY MAY HAVE ESCAPED FROM.

Apparently these two have a somewhat legendary status at The Twain (p.s. I am so happy we got to go back to The Twain this week) although it’s unclear as to why, since their vibe is more incestuous than a Lannister family reunion.

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