“Faking It” recap (1.4): Syzzr Syzzters

 
 

So Karma makes the rounds of Twain, eyebrow waggling and lip-licking in a way that manages to alarm every girl there (which is saying a lot because: Rita Volk’s face).

fakingit4.7OH SWEETIE, NO.

It reminds me fondly of my first experience at a lesbian bar, where I drank too much out of nerves. My one clear memory is of a large butch woman rumbling up to me and saying “Honey, you are about to catch your hair on fire.”

She offers to “play doctor” with a girl studying anatomy, gets in way over her head with a girl who is almost certainly packing a strap-on, and generally proves that she needs some serious remedial L Word watching.  Because what you learn from that show, is that some of us are Shanes, and some of us are Danas.  And coming on like a full-throttle sex machine is just not a strategy we can all pull off.  Shane (the boy one) watches her game and is like “You are overly forward and hypersexual; you would have made a great gay man.”  But lest we devolve into stereotypes here, I detect more than a trace of wistfulness in the way Shane describes the tender courting rituals of the American lesbian.  His next plan is to introduce Amy to the wonderful world of online dating via an app calld “Syzzr.” (In case you’re wondering, this episode was written by a lady called Megan Hearne, and boy did she fucking nail it.) Shane thinks her profile is a wee bit too honest (I think that refusing to date someone who likes nuts in her brownies is totally valid).  Amy is like “I want the girl I date to like me for me.” And Shane hilariously replies “Awww. That’s not how online dating works.”  Which is correct, of course.  Online dating works with pictures, but of course someone with Amy’s face is deluged with date offers and marriage proposals in about thirty seconds.

Meanwhile, back in the straight world, Karma starts to resent Liam’s bond with her parents. So much so, in fact, that she narcs on him for his rendezvous with the lady from Skwerkel.  He protests that the lady was not his lover, but his sister.

fakingit4.8WELL, FUCK.

Over at the Raudenfeld residence, Amy dresses for her date in a getup that recalls Alice Pieszecki at her most clueless.

fakingit4.9“IS THE HAT TOO MUCH?” “A LITTLE.  WHAT?”

Shane agrees to wait around for the post-date autopsy, and here is a thing: I love this episode so much and I know you can’t fit everything in twenty minutes, but I would be really sad for Shane to be relegated to the role of an accessory.  Much as I enjoy seeing him as Amy’s mentor, I miss the Shane of episode one, who had his own desires and motivations.  But I can’t complain too much, because he sneaks into Lauren’s room and helps her craft the perfect scandalous selfie and it is glorious.

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