As Karma walks off, Liam tries to compliment her on her singing of yesterday, but she gives him the cold shoulder. Karma’s parents, on the other hand, greet him with literal open arms, which unlock his chakras and probably some deep-seated Oedipal issues as well.
Oh, and in the greatest C story of all time, Lauren is dressed like she is going to the funeral of a Kentucky Derby horse.
YOU WILL BE MISSED, FANCY DANCER.
She’s in disguise because she sent her boyfriend a topless picture, and assumes that it is now making the rounds of all the school’s heterosexual boys. So she is really quite hurt to learn that Tommy respectfully deleted said sext. And as hilarious as this is, it also perfectly captures the tightrope of sexuality girls are expected to walk. Lauren considers it a social obligation to be an object of desire, but she has to act ashamed of it to avoid being seen as a slut. It makes me so relieved that I graduated before camera phones got big.
OKAY SO THEN YOU GUYS, SHANE TAKES AMY TO A CAFÉ THAT IS A LESBIAN COFFEE SHOP BY DAY AND A GAY BOY DANCE CLUB BY NIGHT. IT IS CALLED THE TWAIN AND I NEED IT TO BE THIS SHOW’S THE BRONZE. I NEED IT SO BAD. Because, I mean, that is the relationship between lesbians and gay men and a nutshell: inhabiting the same spaces, just never in the same way.
Shane breaks down the various lesbian cliques, which is kind of silly because they all look alike, and as we all know there are really only two types of lesbians at a lesbian joint: drunk and flirting with everyone, or leaning against the wall in a state of rabbit-like terror. Oh, and if you’re wondering why they all look so amazing, it’s because Faking It and Pretty Little Liars both have Mandi Line as their stellar costume designer. If I ever have any money, I am paying her to pick out all my outfits. Amy doesn’t really know where to start, since she didn’t know she liked Karma until they kissed.
Amy: Welp, I guess I just have to kiss all the lesbians on Earth now.
Shane: Yeah, I’m not really sure that’s a good idea…
Lesbians of Earth: SHUT UP, SHANE. NO ONE ASKED YOU.