“Faking It” recap (1.4): Syzzr Syzzters

Previously on Faking It, Karma sang her heart out to Liam/Amy/some nebulous combination of the two.  Karma was on top of the world until she found Liam sneaking into the car of a corporate greedmonster who had the look of Morena Baccarin and the vibe of Melissa Hastings.  Amy, meanwhile, was so distraught at her feelings for Karma and Karma’s feelings for Liam that she planted her lips on Oliver, the adorable one-man surveillance state of Hester High. At the end of the day, Amy confessed to Shane that she and Karma weren’t a real couple, but that didn’t mean that her Feelings for Karma weren’t real.

The next day, Karma leaves her fiftieth voicemail to Amy, begging her to reconcile, since she is in “physical pain” without her best friend to talk to and hug and french kiss.  She vows never to devote another minute to Liam’s ass or pretentious modern art if Amy will but call her back.  She is about to start either singing or crying but is interrupted by the most unwelcome sight any teenager can experience at her high school: her parents.

fakingit4.1 Y’ALL WANNA BUY SOME PINEAPPLE? OR SOME DRUGS?

Across campus, Amy is approached by Oliver, who shyly offers her a paper crane.  One assumes there are 999 more of these suckers in Oliver’s bedroom, made with the hope of wishing Amy to love him back.

fakingit4.2FLY AWAY, PRECIOUS SPARROW.

She snatches the crane from his hands, glides it like a paper airplane into the nearest trashcan, and stalks off, leaving Oliver with nothing but his dreams and a notebook filled with doodles of “Mr. Oliver Raudenfeld” (because he would totally take her name).

Amy’s quarry is Shane, who she approaches with the ferocity of a guided missile.

Amy: I NEED YOU TO FIND ME A GIRLFRIEND.  YOU ARE THE GAY GURU SO YOU CAN DO THIS, YES?

Shane: Um I have staked both our reputations on your relationship with Karma, so how about we don’t tell the whole school it was all a lie.

Amy: BUT IT’S NOT A LIE.  I LIKE KARMA SO, YOU KNOW, IPSO FACTO: LESBIAN.

Shane: Sweetie, I have feelings for Daenerys Targaryen but that doesn’t make me a character on Game of Thrones.

But then Amy confesses that this is all really about Karma.  Everything that was once simple about their friendship is now painful, and it is tearing Amy apart.  And man, a best friend crush will do that to you: your constant exposure to it exacerbates your longing, you drive yourself crazy analyzing every word and gesture for signs of reciprocity, and worst of all, you feel desperately guilty for feeling the way that you do.  Struck by pity, and a desire for some grade A drama, Shane agrees to be her Fairy Gaymother.

Over at the Good Karma food truck (purveyors of wheat grass shots and high-quality cannabis edibles) Karma begs her parents to go peddle their wares to health-consious hipsters LITERALLY ANYWHERE ELSE IN AUSTIN.  They gently inform her that they were hoping to piggyback off her lesbian popularity, since money is a little tight in the juice-and-weed business. Which: yes.  More poor and middle class people on this show and on TV in general, please.  Worried by this news, Karma agrees to let her parents stay, as long as they keep the embarrassing anecdotes about her to a minimum.

fakingit4.3SEE THIS IS THE EXACT OPPOSITE OF WHAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT.

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