Previously on Faking It, two high school best friends were mistaken for lesbians and decided to roll with it. Karma was desperate to gain popularity and the attention of cute douchebags, while Amy was desperate to do whatever made Karma happy and resulted in them kissing. The only person to catch on to their charade is Lauren, Amy’s wicked stepsister who is determined to return Hester High to the era of rigidly enforced conformity.
We open this week with Karma and Liam hardcore making out on her bed. It makes me oddly wistful for pre-sex days, when making out was the gold standard of intimacy. These two seem just about to pass that threshold when Liam murmurs, “What about your girlfriend?” and Karma replies, “I don’t have one.” Before the situation can progress further, Karma’s alarm wakes her up and she finds she is sleeping next to Amy.
I think that moment is fair warning enough that what we’re about to see is another dream sequence, but it doesn’t feel any less real for knowing that. Karma impulsively leans forward and kisses Amy.
Amy’s eyes widen in disbelief and Karma asks if she wants to stop. But she doesn’t. She doesn’t ever want to stop, and they kiss with a confused and wondering tenderness until Amy’s alarm wakes her up.
OH FUCK, WHY DID I DREAM THAT? OH FUCK, WHY DID IT END BEFORE THE GOOD PART?
I’ve already heard some people wondering why Amy’s realization of her sexuality is being made into such a big deal, given how accepting her high school is. What the people complaining about that fail to grasp is that coming out isn’t just about how you interact with the world. In a far more intense and personal way, it’s about how you interact with yourself. My own realization that I was gay took me completely by surprise. I had been such a loner for so long that I considered my relationship with myself the healthiest one in my life, and I couldn’t BELIEVE I would keep the fact that I was GAY from me. It was like “Well who the fuck am I at all? Do I secretly like mariachi music? Am I going to wake up tomorrow and discover a third eye?” It was terrifying and unmooring in a way I had never experienced before. It took me a long time to figure out that I had always liked girls; I just waited until I was old enough and strong enough and safe enough to let myself know. For many people, the first and hardest person to come out to is yourself. Amy may be doing the journey a little backwards, but that doesn’t make it any less intense.
Thankfully, she has Lauren’s sisterly companionship to guide her on this journey. Just kidding, Lauren demands that Amy switch bedrooms with her or else she’ll tell Amy’s mom she’s gay. That morning at breakfast, we get a closer look at Amy’s clan. Lauren’s dad (Amy’s stepdad) prays that Amy’s mom will make the transition from weather girl to newscaster, so that she may better use her beautiful mind and breasts in the Lord’s service.
GUYS, LOOK AT HOW AMY AND LAUREN BARELY HOLD HANDS DURING THE PRAYER. I’M GONNA DIE.
I am shipping Amen, if only because it is the greatest portmanteau in history.
Hoping to forestall her mom learning about her gayness, Amy begs Karma to call the whole thing off (for like the fifth time). Karma, of course, argues that un-coming out would thrust them right back into social obscurity, a matter which I am already deeply sick of hearing about. Amy counters that they are bound to be found out anyway, since she (Amy) is “so clearly not a lesbian.”
I’M NOT GAY, IT’S JUST MY POSTURE AND SHOES AND RINGS AND WRISTBAND. THEY’RE THE GAY ONES.
To help them more convincingly pose as clam-divers, Karma hands Amy a Leslie Knope style binder titled simply: “LESBIANS.”
I EXPECT THIS GIF ON MY DESK FIRST THING TOMORROW.
Amy: It’s just that this whole pretending to be girlfriends thing is kinda weirding me out a little.
Karma: What, you hate kissing me that much?
Amy: Ugh. yeah it was like kissing my sister. Or not sister…like second cousin. What’s far enough away that it’s still creepy but not illegal?
Karma: Well, I thought you were a great kisser.
Well, duh. Even the straightest girls I have made out with have uncategorically agreed that girls are better kissers. It is just a fact. Amy doesn’t know this yet, though, so her heart shoots up like a thousand invisible fireworks because she thinks Karma has Feelings for her too.
Right at that moment, Karma’s parents burst in to offer “celebratory kombucha” and their wholehearted approval for the new couple. Their only regret is that their #TEAMKARMY T-shirts won’t be back from the printer in time for homecoming.