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“Face Off” Mini-Cap (7.5): What does the fox monkey bobcat owl say?

You know when you know something bad is going to happen before it happens and you try to scream at your television to warn the people on it not to do that thing that’s going to make the bad thing happen but since it’s TV they can’t hear you and it happens anyway? Yeah. This was me the entire start of this episode, “Stella, don’t choose the cat. Stella, don’t choose the cat! Stella! STELLLLLLL-AAAAAA!”

THE CHALLENGE: The contestants have to create a fantasy hybrid creature out of two real animals. The choices were an armadillo, an alligator, an owl, a bobcat, a squirrel monkey, a red fox, a fennec fox, a prairie dog, a bald eagle, a red tail hawk, a Eurasian lynx, a kinkajou and a coatimundi. I’m pretty sure those last two aren’t really animals and are really just random letters strung together.

THE TWIST: No twist, except have I mentioned contestants should never choose cat forms? It almost never ends well.

THE GOOD: Honestly, I think a lot of people struggled this week. Sasha, Cig and Damien — who ended up winning — were top looks. But I actually liked Sasha’s owl/bobcat hybrid the most because of its lovely face form. Yes, I know, I am directly contradicting what I just said about choosing the cat.

THE BAD: Man, I hate to kick a guy when he is a weird monkey/eagle hybrid. But Doc’s weird monkey/eagle hybrid was bad — his face looked like Play Doh with feathers stuck in the back and charcoal smeared on the front.

THE RANDOM: Was I the only one singing “What does the squirrel monkey fox say?” at Drew’s creation? Just me? I told you this was the random category.

THE WTF WERE THEY THINKING: Oh, Keaghlan, gurl — that faux fur.

THE GAY: Stella, Stella, Stella — I was so damn worried for you all episode. I always get that anxious feeling when the producers a) start showing one contestant a lot and 2) show that contestant struggling with his/her concept. Both of those things happened to Stella. She herself admitted to being lost on the challenge, and even started over on the sculpt. I stand by what I said earlier — never pick the cat.

So it was a tough week for Stella, and you could tell she wasn’t pleased with her own work. But, after a nail-biting judgment, I’m sure she’ll come through next week even more focused. She is too talented not to. Also keep tweeting for her as Tweet Off Fan Favorite. A case of beer is at stake, people.

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