“Face Off” Mini-Cap (7.01): What do you mean we’re not even #@!* contestants yet?

 
 

Hey, do you watch Face Off? Wait, come back. This has nothing to do with that John Travolta and Nicolas Cage face-swapping atrocity. This is the awesome Syfy reality competition for special effects make-up artists now in its seventh season. Still not ringing a bell? Well, don’t worry, just watch one episode and you’ll be stuck to it like a vampire appliance to the forehead of an extra on Buffy.

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What makes Face Off so much better than your average reality show is that it has no sleazy hot tubs hookups, no tearful drunken confessions and no agro wine-throwing fights. I know, it seems hard to believe but this is a reality series based solely on skill and the ability to create awesome things out of nothing. They don’t have time to any of the normal reality show shenanigans because they’re, you know, actually working hard.

So at this point you’re probably saying, hey, what makes this season special? Why are we even talking about this seven season in? Well, there is an out lesbian contestant on the show this time around. So finally I get to write about the best reality competition on TV. Yeah, Top Chef, you heard me – The Best.

The out contestant is Stella Sensel, a 34-year-old freelance makeup artist who lives in Brooklyn. According to her official Syfy bio, “She met her wife at an Amateur Female Jell-O Wrestling match, and lives at their recently purchased home with their dog.” I like her already.

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For the season premiere the twist, because there’s always a Face Off twist, was that none of the 16 people who thought they were contestants were actually contestants yet. The first show was instead their final audition to make the show, and two would be eliminated before the evening was out.

This season we’ll be doing mini-recaps of the competition to keep track of Stella’s progress.

THE CHALLENGE:
Pick a side, life or death, and use a mystery appliance in a box to create a makeup representing the theme.

THE TWIST:
They get a second piece they must incorporate in the makeup half-way through.

THE GOOD:
Former cake decorator Dina Cimarusti’s challenge-winning cabbage-leaf Earth Mother Goddess.

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THE BAD:
Normcore dad Scott Mitchell blue gummy roman soldier sad sack.

THE RANDOM:
Doesn’t new judge Lois Burwell look like a taller Edna Mode from The Incredibles?

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THE WTF WERE THEY THINKING:
Didn’t agree with their criticism of alterative lifestyle ear-piercing enthusiast Gwen Crew’s makeup work. But then, that’s what happens when voice-of-reason judge Ve Neill isn’t there and Glenn Hetrick gets to duck-face his way through the criticism.

THE GAY:
I got nervous because they spent quite a bit of time introducing Stella in the premiere. But in the end her buck-toothed pixie woodland creature was safe and she went on create another day. Whew.

So, meet you back here same time next week? What do you think of this season’s crop so far?

 
 

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