Baby-making — Meanwhile, Chris and Kris are in a doctor’s office, choosing an oven.
Kris: [grabbing Chris's hand] She eats lots of leafy green vegetables and gets lots of sleep.
Chris: [smiling] And she exercises and doesn’t smoke.
Although they both live disgustingly healthy lifestyles, the doctor informs them the younger of the two will have the best chance at a successful litter. Kris looks sadly at her partner, the 40-year-old virgin. Forty may be the new 30, but someone forgot to tell Chris’ ovaries.
Fix and flip out — Elsewhere, Sam’s busy trying to install her own garbage disposal like a good little lesbian home owner. She’s fidgeting with the pipes under the kitchen sink until something bursts and water sprays all over her.
Sam starts to cry because there is no one named Corky working in the vacant apartment next door whom she can call on for plumbing help and a little tattoo show-and-tell. If it’s any conciliation, Sam looks mighty fine in a wet tank top.
Neighborhood improvements — Back at Jen’s, Sienna is brusquely being shown the door. New Jen isn’t going to play Sienna’s crying game, even if Sienna is pleading, "Jen, please, I just …"
Jen swings the door open and is startled by a smoking hot woman with gorgeous eyebrows and a bottle of wine standing in front of her. The woman introduces herself as her new neighbor, Luciana from apartment 103. The number on Jen’s door is 104. There is a God.
Luciana: I might have accidently blocked your car this morning. I hope it wasn’t a huge hassle.
Jen looks right at the camera and explains the Honesty Lite Rule: "Honesty is the best policy. Except when a hot new neighbor holding a bottle of cabernet is apologizing to you. That’s when honest-esque may be the best choice."
Jen is two seconds away from apologizing for scratching the moving truck’s lift gate with the shards of her smashed tail light when Sienna breaks Jen’s (and my) reverie and tells Luciana to scram; she and Jen need a minute. Jen jumps in that there is no minute needed — they are done. So, so done.
Sienna walks away in a huff, leaving Jen free to stare shyly at the deliciousness that is Luciana.