A very brief house call — Dr. Bob pays a visit to the ChKrisses. He tells them he would be honored to be their sperm donor, as he holds one hand behind his back. That better not be what I think it is. With a flourish, he hands them a bouquet of flowers instead of a tablespoon of baby. Thank God.
Blocked — Unlike
myself certain lazy types who shall remain nameless, Jen has other blouses already laundered and doesn’t have to resort to changing into a Beever Café T-shirt.
As Jen rummages through her closet, Sam gets a call on her cell; she’s officially closed on her condo. She sits on Jen’s bed and ponders the "big ass commitment" she’s just made and looks a little queasy.
Jen frantically buttons up a clean shirt and runs out the door, her bed-head hair flouncing behind her, leaving Sam with her girl problems and money pit anxiety. Don’t forget to lock up!
Outside, a moving truck is blocking Jen’s Mini Cooper, which was bound to happen because she’s already running late. "Did you not see me here?" Jen yells at the house in front of her car.
She lays on the horn: meep, meep. It’s hard to be rageful when your tiny car mews like a stuffed animal.
Jen tries to inch out of her spot but ends up busting her tail light instead.
It’s one of those days.
Fix and flip — Sam meets with her realtor to skip through her new condo. She flips the garbage disposal switch and realizes it doesn’t work. When the realtor tells her she knows an excellent plumber, Sam says thanks, but no thanks. She’ll fix it herself. Right after she stops that check to her home inspector.
Today’s youth — Crutch’s newest and only fan, Tatum O’Neal, shows up at the Beever to invite her idol to do a set at her next youth group meeting. Right after the part where they pray.
Tatum: Yeah. Well, we invite Christ into all of our meetings. Of course, some of them are so boring, I can’t imagine Jesus would want to come.
I have it on good authority that Jesus is always late and a bit of a spotlight hog. There’s always plenty of doughnuts when he’s around, though.
Emmy overheard the whole thing, and after Tatum leaves, she immediately confronts Crutch about agreeing to play at some "Christian thing." It’s a long, long road to Madison Square Garden.