Thanks, but no thanks — Meanwhile, somewhere else in town, Lauren hands Jen a check to finish her film. Immediately, Jen lapses into a fantasy filled with silk pajamas, a gauzy canopy bed, and lots and lots of dollar bills that Lauren sprinkles all over her body. Jen isn’t used to having money, I’m just guessing.
Jen comes back to reality and asks Lauren, "Do you want to have dinner again?" Hey, Jen’s buying, everyone. Then, she does the unthinkable — Jen hands the check back to Lauren and says she doesn’t want the money because she wants her more. What?
Jen: Mixing business and pleasure …
Lauren: … is the essence of this business.
Jen: Not for me it’s not.
Lauren: So you are rejecting me because you like me.
Jen: I will find the money elsewhere.
Lauren makes it clear she doesn’t let good investments just slip through her fingers, so to speak. Jen, all cocky with being noble yet broke, asks which investment Lauren wants more. And just to make sure Lauren fully understands her options, Jen lays a lingering kiss on her. Sam would be so proud.
The next day at the Beev, Jen learns the manager at Moonstruck’s home offices has hired Crutch as a consultant. She gets to keep working on the front lines and report to him what kinds of carby delicacies the masses want with their lattes. And she doesn’t have to wear any itchy drag suits. "Rock on, dude," says Emmy.
"Dude?" Crutch says, shocked. Emmy rolls her eyes and walks away.
Jen turns and sees the ChKrisses sitting at a table by the window, making cow eyes at each other. On the other side of the room, Sam and her dad are going over Sam’s mortgage papers, but Sam is still feeling stung because he’s not going to be joining PFLAG anytime soon.
Dad: Well, you weren’t gay until college. In high school, you had one boyfriend after another.
Sam: I also had girlfriends that I never told you about.
Dad: I’ve always been fully supportive of your lifestyle choices.
Sam: It’s not a lifestyle. And it’s not a choice. Being single is a choice. Being gay isn’t — it’s who I am. Maybe someday I’ll settle down. But I’m never going to be straight. I’m fine with that; I love who I am. I’m happy for me. I just wish that you were too.
Dad: I am. I …
Sam: No, I don’t think you are.
Sam looks at her mortgage papers and tells her dad sadly that she doesn’t want his help anymore. He kisses her on the head and leaves.
Jen and Sam look at each other from across the café. Jen mouths the words, "Are you OK?" but it looks a lot like "Are you gay?" Sam shakes her head.
Jen gets up and sits opposite Sam, taking her hands and looking into her friend’s eyes. Sam lowers her head into Jen’s lap.
Next week — Jen channels her inner pole dancer. The ChKrisses choose the father of their child. Sam tries to pick up a woman and accidentally falls into therapy. Crutch has one groupie.