“Exes & Ohs” recap 207: “I Do. Do I?”


Jen dismisses the very notion that Sam is acting like she’s taken and picks up a box of cupcakes to set in the other room. As she passes by, Sheila twirls Barry right into her, sending baked goods and Jen flying at a woman in comfortable shoes.

The woman in the Easy Spirits is Kate, whom Jen dated last year. Kate was cute, smart, fun and everything seemed great until Jen found a deal breaker: Kate has a son. Car pools. Soccer games. Algebra. Check, please.

But that was then, and this is now. Jen’s happy to see Kate, who’s been giving lots of good parenting advice to Kris and Chris (who somehow forgot to tell Jen). Sam is less than thrilled with this bit of serendipity, and makes a beeline for the bar, where there’s a dirty martini with her name on it.

As Kris scolds her mother on one side of the room for smoking weed, Jen is on the other, boasting to Kate, “I’m a dating Marine now. I can take it on the chin.” Kate seems intrigued by this news and checks Jen’s chin for dating scars as Sam watches from afar like a hawk.

Maybe Kate will take off her raincoat and stay a while.

Upstairs, Kris is feeling guilty for accusing her mother of being high. And Sam is helping Kris with her makeup, fuming about Kate’s sudden re-appearance. Chris is lying on the bed, listening to the femmes with detached boredom.

Sam: I should be happy that Jen’s scoring, left and right.

Kris: But you’re irritated.

Sam: I’m irritated by the fact that I’m irritated.

Kris: I feel guilty for feeling guilty.

Sam: Why is Kate even here?

Chris: OK. This is ridiculous. Come here.

Chris grabs the girls and tells them to get their sh-t together. Sam should go talk to Jen, Kris should go talk to Sheila, and she’ll bat southpaw against Racine. OK? Ready? Break!

Kris tries to apologize to Sheila, but being a mother, Sheila can’t resist giving her daughter a passive-aggressive guilt trip. Jen runs into Sam in the bathroom, where Sam is pinning her hair up, one strand at a time. Jen senses something’s on Sam’s mind but Sam shuts her down, saying, “Leave it alone.”
Oh honey, she can’t leave it alone. She’s a lesbian.

As the ceremony draws near, the guests start taking their seats in the living room. Jen, full of bravada, asks Kate out on a casual date. Kate says she doesn’t have time for casual, being a mom on the go and all, so Jen amends her come-on to be a real date. Bold!

Jen and Kate sit down next to Sam, who can’t look at Jen without sneering. But before Sam can give Kate the stink eye, Kris and Chris emerge, dressed in white, and stand before their friends and family.

Chris whispers something to the officiant, who smiles, approvingly. The happy couple turns to their guests.

Kris: We say our vows together every day and in everything we do, in public and in private.

Chris: You all know everything we can possibly promise to each other. So, this day isn’t about what we can say to each other.
Kris: It’s about how we can join ourselves together in a new way.

They’re not going to backwards scissor each other, are they?

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