“Exes & Ohs” recap 203: “The Big ‘O’”


Later at home, Kris thinks Chris has been working too hard and as a reward, gives her a home beer brewing kit. Really? I didn’t know “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” included yeast and a fermenting bucket. And is now really the time to be spending money on a still? What next? Tax-free cigarettes from Russia?

After Kris wanders off to shop for guns on the internet, Sheila quietly tells Chris, “But if you really need to relax…” and motions with her eyes to come outside with her. She has something to show her.

Hey, that’s not basil.

Sam and Elizabeth are in bed. Elizabeth tries to grope Sam’s boobies, but Sam is too busy worrying about her financial future and consulting a Rand-McNally road map to locate other gay bars that compete with hers. Where do I get a map like that?

Elizabeth is one tenacious, frisky mo-fo, so Sam finally gives in, even though her mind is on money woes and not breathy oh’s. Elizabeth is down under, doing what she can, but to no avail. She crawls her way back up from under the sheets, wondering what’s wrong.

Elizabeth: Everything OK?

Sam: Yeah. It just happens sometimes, ya know? It’s not you. I’ll make it up to you.

Elizabeth: You better.

Sam looks terrified.

Maybe if she paid Sam to have sex – two birds, one stone… What am I saying?

Elsewhere, Gillian is giving Jen some good news: She’s snagged a guest lecture gig for Jen at her school, so she can talk to a film class about editing. Yay? Who wouldn’t want to spend hours preparing a lecture for free, to present to entitled film students who think they already know everything?

Jen is grateful, but wonders how much more considerate Gillian’s going to be once she tells her their sex tape is online, being ogled and passed around like Kim Kardashian’s butt shots.

Later at the Beever, Sam confides in the girls that she’s experiencing a dry spell, so to speak. Everyone is shocked, especially Jen, because she’s Sam’s ex. And they had their problems, but sex was never one of them. Sam says exasperatedly, “I never can’t…”
Jen jumps in with, “I know!” and can’t help but seem just a teeny bit proud of herself.

It ain’t bragging if it’s true.

Chris leans in conspiratorially and tells them Sheila has something that’ll help everyone chillax. The next thing you know, Chris, Jen, Sam and Sheila are scarfing pot brownies and giggling like loons. Kris comes home from a hard day of neutering puppies and wonders what’s so funny about pizza.

Kris is starting to get a complex.

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