12 Problems Queer Women Have During the Holidays

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If you are lucky enough not to have any of these things happen to you this time of year, you are one lucky lesbian. The rest of us know these holiday problems all-too-well.

When your grandma keeps calling your girlfriend your “friend.” She knows her name!

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When your dad quotes the Bible and praises Baby Jesus so it’s clear everyone here isn’t a sinner. Even though he stopped going to church years ago.

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When your parents want you to sleep in separate beds, even if you’re married. And marriage is fucking legal now, so what’s the argument?

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When your grandpa keeps making transphobic comments about Caitlyn Jenner. You’re so thankful he doesn’t have Facebook.

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When your brother makes lewd comments about your relationship. Nope, we don’t want to “borrow” any of your sperm, thanks.

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When everyone’s so impressed your sister has had a boyfriend for two months. And you’re sitting at the table with your girlfriend of five years.

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When your mom won’t stop buying you uber-feminine clothing when she knows you’ll never wear it. And it’s the only present she doesn’t offer a gift receipt for.

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When your aunt starts telling you about the time she experimented in college. TMI.

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When your well-meaning cousin tells you she is “accepting of all lifestyles.” Thank you?

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When your high school friend asks if you secretly crushed on her when you were teenagers. This is a no win situation.

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When your ex-boyfriend says “I hope I didn’t turn you gay.” Oh, my god, it was YOU!

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When you and your girlfriend buy each other the same gift. It’s love!

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