’s Gift Guide for the Gay Girl 2013

Lesbian Film Fanaticae-gift-guide-snarker

She can discuss the similarities between French New Wave and Dogme 95 until night gives way to pale morning light. She’s made you stand on the sidewalk for hours, more than once, to be first in line for the latest big-screen installment of that series she loved as a book first. And she has no bigger smile than the one she gets right before the theater goes dark and the screen gets bright.

1. Movies, duh. Sure, everyone has the lesbian movie classics. (No, Virginia, that’s not an oxymoron.) But dig deep, deep into the LGBT library and find some obscure gems. How about documentaries? Or small lesbian-produced independent films? Or, expand her virtual library with new releases like Concussion or Cloudburst with digital downloads thanks to Wolfe Video. ($6.95-$19.95)

2. Minimalistic Movie Posters. Give you movie fanatic one of these fantastic minimalistic posters from her favorite film. Sure, you could get her the real poster. But nothing is quite as cool as these stripped-down representations of what makes these movies so masterful. From Harry Potter to Finding Nemo to Star Wars, there’s plenty to choose from. ($12-$18)

3. Do-It-Yourself Lesbian Scene Memorabilia. Never mind the pre-packaged stuff. Show her you care by making your own custom gift to showcase her favorite lesbian movie scene. Pour your favorite honey into a Mason jar and label it “Bee Charmer.” Design a T-Shirt that declares “You’re a wanker No. 9.” Or send her to falconry school. ($10-$2,750)

4. Streaming Movie Subscription/Gift Certificates. Sure, stale popcorn smell and that guy who won’t stop texting next to you make the movie theater experience fun. But sometimes a girl just wants to watch a movie in peace on her couch and make her own damn popcorn. And, there are options from Netflix to One More Lesbian. ($3.99-$7.99 a month)

5. A Big Bowl of Pasta. Because you’re going to need it to fuel your night of processing Blue Is the Warmest Color. You’ll want to carbo load to discuss all those Big Lesbian Feelings the movie brings up. And, considering how much of the stuff they eat on screen, you’ll probably be hungry for some. Might I suggest any of these pasta brands, that haven’t expressed their distaste for LGBT people. ($5-$10)

— Dorothy Snarker

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