AfterEllen.com’s Gift Guide for the Gay Girl 2013

 
 

The Awesomely-Into-You Anglophile

ae-gift-guide-elaine

If you catch your girlfriend staring out the window, imagining she is gazing out on the moors, if she affects a slight accent every time she meets someone from the U.K., and if she tries to throw phrases like “bloody hell” into conversation, you’ve got an Anglophile on your hands.  A dreamy, romantic bunch, Anglophiles are easy to please with gifts that relate to the country where they all think they should have been born.

1. Tea Basket. Although not generally known for its outstanding cuisine, Britain has at least raised the international standard of coziness with its teatimes.  Bundle up your beloved with a selection of fine black  teas, digestives, clotted cream, and jam.  Perfect for rainy days curled up in front of a fire. ($29.99)

2. Phone Booth. Let’s not kid ourselves: you are not getting this for your girlfriend.  This one is for you, so you can put it in your living room and hang out in it all the time even though you haven’t had a a landline since 2006.  It is exclusively for imaginary conversations with the Queen. ($1,299.99)

3. Cane Sword. Do you love a dapper sort of woman, who favors well-cut suits and who you occasionally catch villainously twirling an imaginary mustache?  If so, prepare to see her eyes light up when she unwraps the ultimate accessory: a cane with a sword hidden inside. And when you think about it, nothing really captures British history more than the cane sword. Quaint, even stodgy on the outside, but with an inward steel that enabled them to ruthlessly colonize much of the globe. ($99.99)

4. Meta Hat. Want a gift that proclaims your love of Brittania while simultaneously affirming your loyalty to all things American? This is it.  A red, white, and blue trucker cap that bears upon it the picture of Sherlock Holmes’ famous deerstalker. ($15.99)

5. Monogrammed handkerchief. Nothing says “heroine of a Victorian novel” quite like a fine linen handkerchief.  You can hail carriages, staunch wounds received while dueling, and use them to mop up your tears when you get to the end of and Austen novel. Depending on the amount of lace you choose, this gift can appeal to either the masculine or feminine-leaning woman, and best of all you can have your own initials embroidered, so your beloved never forgets who she belongs to. ($15-$20)

 

—Elaine Atwell

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