Do we need a Holiday?

Now that we’ve all agreed upon the mind-warping appeal of Kate Winslet to hopeful lesbians everywhere, let’s consider her new film, The Holiday, which opens today. Reviews indicate that it is standard romantic comedy fare, only with double the couples and, ostensibly, double the fun.

Written and directed by Nancy Meyers (Something’s Gotta Give, The Parent Trap, Private Benjamin), the film focuses on two gorgeous women suffering from terrible love lives. Amanda (Cameron Diaz) is an LA woman too independent and successful to keep a man, while London-based Iris (Kate Winslet) has fallen for an unavailable guy. They two meet via the internet and make a pact to swap homes for the holidays as a balm for their low spirits. Iris meets a guy (Jack Black) in Los Angeles and Amanda finds one (Jude Law) in London. Hi-jinks ensue and I’m guessing that everyone has their happy ending one way or another.

I love Kate, but I don’t think I love her enough to sit through The Holiday. If I wanted to see a hot woman paired with an un-hot guy I could a.) turn on my tv or b.) go out to any restaurant, club or grocery store here in Los Angeles.

Sorry, but I just can’t get past the casting on this one. You have Kate Winslet and the best you can do is to pair her with Jack Black? Really? Every time I see the previews for this movie, I am reminded of the film Shallow Hal—starring Black as a vapid guy who only wants to date really gorgeous, skinny women. And that’s not even the punch line! His character’s arc is to discover the importance of a woman’s inner beauty, not accept the fact that a slob like him has no business demanding perfection in a woman in the first place.

School of Rock was great, but it was a fluke for me. Black has a disorder I call OSM (Obnoxious Straight Man-itis), and his loud, juvenile, and (too often) underwear-clad antics just irritate me and make me really glad that I’m gay –even if someone did reign him in for this movie.

I really wish that the Holiday story had taken a different turn. What if Amanda and Iris met on the internet, compared sob stories, then began an illicit long-distance love affair via email, culminating in one of them flying across the pond to sweep the other off of her feet? Hi-jinks would still ensue, and everyone could still have their happy ending. And the couple in question (Diaz and Winslet) would actually be in each other’s league!

So will The Power of Kate (not to mention her hilarious anecdote about Cameron Diaz on Letterman) compel you to see The Holiday despite the formulaic premise, or does it actually look like a good movie to you? Who knows, maybe I’m just a cranky lesbian who wishes she were Jack Black—preferably on the day we shoot the inevitable love scene from The Holiday.