So you’re not headed to Palm Springs this weekend? Well, join the club. While several of our AfterEllen.com colleagues are dancing in the desert for the Dinah (be sure to stop by and say hi at the Meet-Up on Saturday at the Hilton), the rest of us are home wondering what we’re missing.
Well fear not, gay ladies, you too can have your very own do-it-yourself Dinah experience the comfort of your own home. But how is it possible to replicate the experience of thousands of sweaty, sunburned lesbians gyrating in board shorts? Well, simply follow these three-step plans and you can get a scaled-down taste of what all the fuss is about.
1. Invite all your friends over.
2. Make them wear all white.
3. Buy them gifts because they are going to hate you for making them wear all white.
1. Find your cassettes from 1989.
2. Put on some spandex.
3. Proceed to push it real good.
1. Smear your eyeliner.
2. Dip your toothbrush in Jack Daniels.
3, Yep, that’ll do it.
Samantha Ronson DJing
1. Follow her on Twitter.
2. Follow Lindsay Lohan on Twitter.
3. Come on, this will be almost as entertaining.
1. Tell your friends to come over.
2. Douse them with water.
3. Run because they’re going to hate you even more than the White Party Stunt.
1. Buy some golf clubs.
2. Go to the driving range.
3. Bonus, you might meet almost as many lesbians.
So there you have it, ladies. Easy as 1-2-3. For those brave souls headed out to lesbian spring break, we salute you. For the rest of us, share your alternate Dinah weekend plans.