Dear Little Linster:
Go to the library. Not the church library or the school library, but the big one downtown. Look up “lesbian.” You are one, which should answer a lot of your self-questioning about your sexual feelings (or lack thereof). You were born this way. Not everyone will accept you or understand, but you will be fine. In fact, if you look around, you will realize that you have several good friends who are lesbians, too.
Next, look up “clinical depression.” That also applies to you, and will answer the question about why you are negative and don’t like yourself. Despite what you may hear from uninformed people, you can’t snap out of it – trust me. Ask a doctor about depression as soon as you can, and take the medication. You will be amazed, I promise, at what life actually is like.
By the way, being a lesbian and being chemically depressed are not at all related. Be who you are; do what you love; know that putting your own happiness first is the only way to help anyone else.
Hang in there,
P.S. Some people are stupid.