“Dancing with the Stars” video highlights (13.7)

Hey, Dancing with the Stars had a Halloween episode! It was still way less scary than when they beat up several of the movies I liked as a kid. Onward! 

The Great

Ricki Lake and Derek Hough are back in form. They danced a Red Riding Hood–themed paso doble and Lake powered past an injury for some impressive dipping and whipping around. 

SCORE: 27, and totally deserved. 

And you know who the other pair in this category is, right? 

WRONG! Hope Solo and Maksim Chmerkovskiy did a great samba to "Werewolves of London" that was really fun to watch. Well done all around. 

And, yes, it looks like Hope brought some cupcakes to the costumers. 

SCORE: 24 That was an offensive lowball — and a transparent one, given the stinkfaces the judges were weraring as Hope and Maks were on deck. Stand tall, Hope and Maksim. You have a 27 in the Book of the Ages. (No, I don’t know what that is either. But it sounds appropriately important.) 

The Good 

J.R. Martinez and Karina Smirnoff did a tango to "Ghostbusters." It wasn’t their best dance, and I’m not sure what threw them off. Maybe it was the fact that they were stuck trying to freaking tango to "Ghostbusters." 

SCORE: 25 Yeah, they’re fine. 

David Arquette and Kym Johnson did a cha-cha to "Abracadabra," and they have taken that "OK, we’ll just be fun" slot and run with it. 

SCORE: 24 

The Why Are We Still Doing This? 

Nancy Grace and Tristan MacManus did the least interesting dance that it is humanly possible to do when "The Devil Went Down to Georgia" is involved. 

SCORE: 21, which was maybe a little generous. 

Rob Kardashian and Cheryl Burke did a tango to the Addams Family theme. Sigh. 

SCORE: 25 Are you KIDDING me?! 

WAIT! We’re not done! There were team dances! Those team scores were added to the individual scores, and the sum of those scores will then be combined with the votes from viewers and then the results will all be thrown into a giant mulcher and then made into papier mâché centerpieces because we all know at this point that the producers are pretty much just making things up. 

Oh, I mean it was a new and exciting twist that could turn this entire competition around! 

Anyway, first there was Team Tango! (J.R. and Karina! David and Kym! Nancy and Tristan!) 

They were either dressed up in very, very stylized straight jackets or were supposed to be off-hours bondage enthusiasts. Whichever. The look worked for them. 

Their dance worked for them a little less. 

SCORE: 23 (Sad trombone) 

Next up, Team Paso! (Ricki and Derek! Rob and Cheryl! Hope and Maksim!) Hey, they rocked it! 

SCORE: 26 

Quite the donnybrook! Check back tomorrow for the full SnapCap and to see if, you know, those new exciting scores actually meant anything. 

In the meantime, go forth and dance.

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