A bidness meeting â€” The surfing competition is a mere three weeks away, and the girls haven't done a darn thing except surf and fight. They take a meeting on the beach because sitting in a room at a real table is for stiffs with day jobs.
No-nonsense Erin whips a calendar and several pads of paper out of her bag. Helping yourself to office supplies is the American Way. Michele doesn't need to take notes; she'll just store everything up in that big ol' noggin of hers. Vanessa already has six ideas of her own and doesn't need to write them down. Knowing she has no experience putting on a fundraiser, Gingi doesn't do anything but sit there and look hot. Melissa won't be needing notes because Jessica will be telling her what to do. And Princess doesn't plan on doing anything, anyway, so why bother?
Michele asks about making flyers. Erin volunteers her girlfriend, who's a designer. Vanessa says she knows a skateboard company who might donate a skateboard to their cause. Melissa's worried about how much there is to do because she has to do her task plus Jessica's.
Do the hustle â€” While Vanessa goes to see a girl about a freebie skateboard, Erin stops by a surfboard shop to hit them up for some fabulous comp prizes. Meanwhile, Michele and Gingi hook up with Andrea Meyerson, founder of Women on a Roll, which is the Most. Delicious. Sandwich. Ever.
Actually, it's a social organization for Southern California lesbian activity nuts. Michele claims Andrea knows every lesbian within a 50-mile radius of East/West, and if she can't get bodies out to their fundraiser, nobody can.
At the skateboard shop, there's no half-pipe out back, no blaring house music and no skinny andro with bed-head named Shane cutting hair. What this shop does have is one lone sales girl who's eyeing Vanessa suspiciously.
Vanessa drapes herself over the display case and gives her pitch about donating to a fundraiser to clean up the ocean. Shop Girl doesn't know what to make of the visitor with the good cause and the tube socks.
Erin's pitch at the surf shop scores some rad shirts. Vanessa wins over wary Shop Girl, who hands over their newest model: a tasty bamboo "girl skate." Vanessa is quite the charmer.
Gingi and Michele sit in the Women on a Kaiser Roll offices and explain the features of the fundraiser to Andrea: lesbian surfers, a raffle, musicians, blah, ocean, blah, clean, blah. Don't bother â€” you had her at "lesbian surfers."
Jessica feels too overwhelmed doing whatever it is Jessica does, so her contribution consists of sitting on the beach looking around as if she's waiting for a cabana boy to bring her a margarita. That cabana boy's name? Melissa.
Because sharing is caring â€” Someone decided the girls need to do some more bonding. Whose stupid idea was that? Captains Erin and Michele decide to share their hobbies with their respective teams: Erin takes her girls to a pistol range, and Michele invites Gingi and Melissa over for some backyard yoga.
Erin is waiting outside the range when Vanessa and Jessica stroll up. Vanessa gives Erin a big howdy-doo, but Jessica is looking at the sign on the building muttering, "No, no, no â€¦"
Jessica: I appreciate you making this gesture, but I can't do this. I can't. I'm absolutely petrified of them. This is something I can not overcome. I can understand Gingi overcoming the ocean and fear, but I can't â€¦ I can't do this. This is not my territory.
Erin explains it was supposed to be a team-building exercise, but she doesn't seem very disappointed Princess D wants no part of it. Vanessa suppresses a giggle as Jessica wells up with tears behind her Gucci knockoff shades. Vanessa points to a picture of a Glock on the building's wall. It's a happy Glock â€” what's the problem?
Erin suggests Jessica go home and have a drink. Vanessa's up for anything, so she follows Erin inside, leaving Jessica pacing on the sidewalk. I suddenly feel bad for the princess. When did I become such a 'mo?
At Michele's place, it's a whole different nightmare. Sitting on a mat, wearing a bandanna, Michele explains that yoga is one of the few things that complements surfing. Gingi sits with a restaurant napkin on her head, taking it all in.
Melissa states simply, "I don't work out and I don't stretch, so that kinda rules out yoga." That said, she's willing to tear a ligament for the team. Michele positions Melissa into poses her body has never known. She might not be able to have children now.
You know your yoga sucks when you're shown up by a cat.