On Wednesday, The New York Post reported that Johnson & Johnson heiress Casey Johnson became embroiled in a heated altercation with her ex-girlfriend, ex-Yahoo CEO Terry Semel’s daughter Courtenay, who, until recently, was otherwise known as Tila Tequila‘s 426th shot at love. She has also been linked to Lindsay Lohan. (Oh, you just can’t keep up with those socialites!)
This rumble was especially "newsworthy" because it allegedly involved the use of pyrotechnics.
"Casey had a fight one night with her current girlfriend," a source reported to Page Six. "Casey went to Courtenay’s house, and Courtenay proceeded to beat the crap out of her, and then she lit her hair on fire. Casey had to be hospitalized."
The Post remarked that Ms. Johnson must now be "wearing her hair in a short, butch style." Oh my.
This alleged spat betwixt star-crossed lovers may be a bit extreme, but it doesn’t hold a candle to some of the famous lovers’ quarrels of the past. Remember Lisa "Left Eye" Lopes and Andre Rison? In 1994 the late TLC singer ended her relationship with professional football player Rison by burning down the $1.3 million mansion they shared in Atlanta. Hair grows back quickly, but rebuilding a $1.3 million mansion is a tad more difficult.
And who can forget the doomed relationship between Sid Vicious and Nancy Spungen, who took to beating each other for sport, until Spungen ended up with a knife in her abdomen?
Yesterday, the Post reported an update: Casey and Courtenay were BFFs again and might even rekindle their love affair:
Casey Johnson may have had the hell beaten out of her by her ex-girlfriend Courtenay Semel, but it won’t stop them from going to Sundance together. As Page Six reported, Semel recently bested Johnson in a vicious catfight and then set her hair on fire, but a pal of the two said, "Courtenay and Casey are still close and are heading up to Sundance for the weekend." Look for things to get sexy: Semel’s rep, James Vituscka, said the daughter of billionaire Terry Semel and her on-again, off-again gal pal Tila Tequila "ended their five-month relationship. The decision was mutual."
Come on, you two. Stop imitating those crazy rambunctious heteros and torture each other the tried and true Sapphic way — by leaving passive aggressive status messages on Facebook and by hooking up with each other’s exes. Didn’t you get the memo?