Counting down the seven evilest lesbian and bisexual exes

 
 

In Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, the eponymous hero has to defeat the seven evil exes of Ramona to win her heart. In the course of his courtship he learns the strengths and weaknesses of each ex. But evil ex-boyfriends (and an ex-girlfriend) are one thing. Having to do battle with an army of evil lesbian and bisexual ex-girlfriends is entirely another.

Here are seven of the evilest ex-girlfriends in lesbian and bisexual film, television and literature history. Each would grind poor Scotty to a fine paste.

Gabby Deveaux, The L Word

Former Lover: Alice Pieszecki
Superpower Strength: Ability to make Alice melt into a puddle on contact; discounts on vagina rejuvenation.
Evil Deeds: Emotional cripple, slash, narcissistic personality disorder; makes terrible animal noises while sleeping with Papi.
To Defeat: Step off, bitch!

Toxic Tonya, The L Word

Former Lover: Dana Fairbanks
Superpower Strength: Ability to fend off hoards of Dana’s lesbian fans at Dinah; can materialize magically between your legs in dreams.
Evil Deeds: Possibly killed Mr. Piddles; makes you want to leave the room screaming on sight.
To Defeat: Kiss Alice.

Pages: 1 2 3