If there was a school that taught lesbianism — besides Wellesley College, I mean — part of the core curriculum would be called Projecting Homoeroticism 101, and in class you’d learn how to take on-screen looks and touches between female best friends out of context, then put them back together in your mind to form an epic lesbian romance. It would be the easiest class ever, and just to prove it I’m going to give you a little quiz.
1) What do you see when you look at the following picture?
a) Two best friends trapped in a lab at the Jeffersonian because a co-worker unleashed potentially fatal toxins into the air when he cut open a hundred-year-old bone from a fallout shelter.
b) An artist and a scientist who clearly want to makeout.
2) On Bones, Angela calls Brennan “sweetie” because:
a) She’s loose with the terms of endearment; she calls everyone “sweetie.”
b) She’s in love with Brennan, and clearly wants to make out with her.
3) What do you see when you look at the following pictures?
a) One best friend urging another best friend to lose the lab coat so they can hurry up and go clubbing to meeet dudes.
b) An artist disrobing a scientist because they clearly want to makeout.
4) What did Emily Deschanel mean by this answer she gave on Ausiello’s blog this week?
Ausiello: Since it doesn’t look like Brennan and Booth will be having real sex anytime soon, how about Brennan and her bisexual BFF Angela
“We’ve never discussed that but I wouldn’t put it past [producers],” says Emily Deschanel with a chuckle. “I feel like Brennan’s the type of character that if she had feelings for a woman she wouldn’t question that and she’d go for it. But it would be kind of complicated with her best friend.”
a) Ha ha, that’s funny. I mean, if Brennan were in love with a woman, she’d so go there, because she’s awesome like that. But seriously, that’s never going to happen.
b) Angela and Brennan are clearly going to makeout next season.
If you scored mostly Bs, congratulations: You’re gay!
The idea of an Angela/Brennan hookup leaves me feeling really conflicted. On the one hand, I think it’s a terrible idea for reasons including but not limited to the fact that it would be creatively dishonest since Brennan is hopelessly, deeply, recklessly in love with Booth. On the other hand, well, I knew exactly what episodes to screencap for your quiz, didn’t I?
So, while I can’t root for that specific sapphic romance — What would they even be called? Angerance? Tempegela? — there are plenty of other on-screen BFFs I use my Projecting Homoeroticism 101 training on, starting with Blair and Serena from Gossip Girl. How about you?