“Coronation Street” recap: Wallowing Around in Sin

 
 

Downstairs, Tyrone is still talking about that damn chippy when Sophie and Sian emerge, fully-clothed. Sally wants to know what they have to say for themselves, and Sophie’s like, “You mean, you want to know how it works, or…?” Sally stomps her foot and says, “You gave me your word there’d be no hanky panky in that room!” Me and Sophie and Sian all laugh in Sally’s face, even though we probably shouldn’t. Tyrone finally cottons on to the drama unfolding before him and tries to leave. Sally barks at him repeatedly to stay, but he ultimately manages to free himself from her grasp, and that is just the last straw: “Now look what you’ve done: he came ’round for his tea!”

Now look what you’ve done: Tyrone was hungry and now he’s going to starve to death because you two HAD SEX.

Oh, British humour, Never change.

Because Sally’s already worked up to steam coming out of her ears, she circles Sophie and Sian some more and points and stares and demands to know things. Sophie explains that sex is what happens when two people love each other, and Sally says, “Well what about the sexual repression you signed on for when you became a Christian, huh? What about the shame God wants you to feel just for having boobs, Sophie? What about that?!”

Sophie says, “I don’t think I believe in God anymore.” Which causes Sian to whip around in her chair, like, “Whaaa?”

Sally’s got to get one more good zinger in, though, before her daily head explosion: “Well, that didn’t last very long, did it? All those fine words and sermons we had to listen to, and now you’re wallowing around in sin like there’s no tomorrow!”

Sophie and Sian pack up their s–t and bounce on over to number 11, seeking refuge with Rosie. Eileen invites them in because why not? It’s already like the Big Brother house up in there. Everyone wants to know about the row that landed Sophie and Sian in vagabond territory again. And for some reason, Sophie tells them. It’s kind of cute and kind of awkward and Sian is like, “Sophie!” And Sophie is like, “Sian and I bought new s-h-o-e-s.”

Eileen goes to the Webster’s to tell Sally she will “get through this gay business.” (Eileen’s son, Todd, is also gay.) And Sally is like, “What? Oh, right. The gay teenagers shagging under my roof. I’d forgotten. Listen, do you know where I can get a shark tank with a shark big enough to eat a full-sized man?”

Back at the Grimshaw’s everyone is tucked in for the night, and the first thing Sian wants to talk about is Sophie’s deceleration about not believing in God.

Sian: Did you really mean what you said about losing your faith?
Sophie: I don’t know, I’ve just been thinking. I’m sorry for springing it onto you like that … I try to be good, follow his rules, and where does it get me? My mom nearly dies of cancer, my dad has a kid with another woman, a tram comes crashing out of the sky — killing and maiming — and I fall in love with you and its a sin.
Sian: That’s what the book of Job’s about, isn’t it? Having your faith tested?
Sophie: Maybe. Or maybe I should have a go at deciding what’s right and wrong for myself, for a change. I can’t do much worse than him up there, can I?

Usually when people compare their suffering to Job, I always have a laugh because, essentially, Job is a guy who got caught in a pissing match between God and Satan. Satan taunts God by saying there’s no one faithful to him on the whole earth, and God tells Satan to just take a look at good ol’ Job, and Satan’s like, “Yeah, I’d be faithful to you too if I was a dashing gazillionaire who had a hot wife and a booming business.” And so to prove Satan wrong, God systemtically destroys Job’s life. God smites his wife and kids, and then his sheep and goats, and then strikes his house with lightning and drops a plague on poor Job’s head until all he has left for company are pox and a couple of friends who show up every now and then to taunt him.

So, you know, when it rains one day and someone forgets her umbrella at home, and then compares her suffering to Job, I giggle. But Sophie has a point: Trams falling out of the sky, killing and maiming and all that.

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