“Coronation Street” recap: Lezzer umbrella (ella, ella)

After "choir practice," Sophie and Sian walk through a garden and Sian makes a big, huge, lesbian deal about how they need to be sitting right beside each other when they get their GCSE results. Actually, before that she tells Sophie that she’s more fit than Beyonce, which is another thing I love about love: how stupid blind it really is. I mean, Sophie is cute. But Beyonce? C’mon.

Sophie: We need to celebrate [our GCSEs], though.
Sian: Yeah, but how, though?
Sophie: I don’t know.
Sian: What are we going to do? Stay late one night after choir practice, just the two of us?
Sophie: OK.
Sian: Oh. Well. You don’t seem that fussed.
Sophie: No, Sian! I want to see you; of course I want to see you! It’s just that using the church as an excuse just doesn’t feel right!

Sian goes, "Well, does this feel right?" And she leans in to kiss her, and may I just say again that Sian is an exceptional kisser. Sophie doesn’t appreciate it, though. She pulls away and screeches about how someone could have seen them and then the whole world would implode plus three more eternities of being grounded!

The next day, Sally tells Sophie she’s going to cook a celebratory meal of celebration to celebrate Sophie’s GCSEs. Sophie says she might fail and Sally says that she’ll cook a horrible mean of horrible horribleness and they can sit around and feel miserable. Miserable is the phrase of the day, because Sian gets super mad when Sophie tells her they can’t wait around to get their O.W.L. results together because of the family dinner.

Somehow they even manage to stay angry with each other through choir practice, even though — this is the thing I wanted to tell you! — the church choir full of choir ladies is singing Rihanna’s "Umbrella." Seriously, you guys, they’re even doing the echo-y "ella, ella, ella" part. Amazing. So amazing. One time the Constance-Billard choir on Gossip Girl sang Fergie‘s "Glamorous" while wearing, like, choir skirts and knee socks, and even though that one had Jenny Humphrey in it, it still doesn’t compare to this Corrie choir marvel.

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