“Coronation Street” recap: How Sophie Webster got sorted into Gryffindor

Rosie busts up the sap by explaining the societal benefits of having lesbians around: More dudes for her! Sian’s face when she says it, and then she just rests her weary gay head on her champagne flute.

Sophie convinces her family to leave the wedding early. (How did they get back home? Does the Hogwarts Express make trips on demand? Or — ooh! — Knight Bus, probably!) When they get home, Sally says she’ll take Sian home, and when Sophie and Sian dance around and act awkward, Sally goes, "Oh, go on and hug. No one thinks you’re not normal around here!" She leaves to fetch her car keys and Sophie hugs Sian with so much tenderness and just absolute terror that Sian is about to bolt for Southpaw that it kind of breaks me. She closes her eyes and whispers "I love you," willing it to be enough to make Sian be brave.

After Sian leaves, Sophie sits with her dad on the couch. He sweetly says that if something happened the night of the babysitting, that she can tell him, that he’s going to love her no matter what. She thinks he’s talking about Sian, but actually he’s talking about Aadi. He says he knows her better than anyone. She goes upstairs to try to find some peace away from prying eyes, but comes back and snuggles into her dad on the couch.

What happens next is kind of perfect:

Sophie: Dad, you know what you were saying before, about how you know me? [voice breaking] You don’t.
Kevin: So something did happen that night?
Sophie: No, not with Aadi.
Kevin: Eh?
Sophie: People just shouldn’t think bad of Claire. You know, it’s been so stressful.
Kevin: She shouldn’t hit out, telling lies.
Sophie: She didn’t; I’m so sorry.
Kevin: Sorry?
Pease don’t hate me, Dad.
Tell me what it is, sweetheart; if you don’t tell me, I can’t help.
Me and Sian, what Claire said: it’s true. We’re together.

And that, dear Reader, is how Sophie Webster got sorted into Gryffindor.

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