“Coronation Street” recap: 100 Percent Lesbian

Just kidding! He totally tries it on with her, and she stomps away calling him all kinds of names and not even bothering to toss a life jacket back over her shoulder for the inevitable onslaught of Hurricane Sophie. At home, she’s folding laundry in a huff when Sophie comes in. Sophie, who only just started doing laundry again like three weeks ago when she finally got out of that candyfloss dressing gown, is like, “Whoa, what is going — he made another pass at you, didn’t he?” Sian tries to calm her down, but Sophie is having exactly none of it. She leaves the house at a Four Horsemen pace, just ready to rain down Apocalypse on Tommy’s head. Sian chases after her, ostensibly to stop her, but I think she just wants to see Sophie kick Tommy in the babymaker. Maybe kneecap him a little bit. 

Sophie finds Tommy at the garage and lights into him. Rosie never met some commotion she didn’t like, so she rushes over just in time to hear Tommy say that Jason dared him to try to kiss Sian. And whoo boy! If Sophie’s Apocalyptic horses are Pestilence, War and Famine, Rosie’s horse is plain old Death. When Jason comes home, she’s like, “You disrespected my sister and her girlfriend. Prepare to die, motherf–ker.” She seriously breaks up with him because of course she does; she’s the best sister in the world. (Marry me, Rosie! Wear the chicken suit, I don’t care!)

Now, while Tommy’s been roaming around Weatherfield like Lothario’s best dream, Sophie and Sian have also started working at Roof and Refuge, a soup kitchen run by their gay buddy James. Corrie uses the storyline to reintroduce Dennis Tanner to the show, but also I love it because it’s the perfect antidote to that whole “Church Is Where The Good People Go” thing. No, see, the church rejected Sophie and Sian because they’re gay — even though their pastor reached out to them after Sophie almost died falling from the roof — and so they’re shining their light somewhere else. It reminds me of this great Salon.com article by a Presbyterian minister called “I preached against homosexuality, but I was wrong.”

The truth is, I was put out that [homosexuality] was an issue. Feeding the hungry, preaching the gospel, comforting the afflicted, standing up to racial intolerance — these were the struggles I signed up for, not determining the morality of what adults did in their bedrooms.

The church doesn’t have a monopoly on Doing Good, and I love that three of the most benevolent characters on this show are gay. Don’t want them in church? No bigs, they’ll Do Good all by themselves.

Rosie comes up with total Rosie Plan to convince Jason that Tommy is a skeeze. She asks him to come over and “fix the pipes,” and then tells him to go upstairs so they can get their bang on. He’s like, “Of course you want to shag me, everyone does.” And then he hops up the stairs, and hops back down, almost completely starkers. Jason, Rosie, Sian and Sophie are sitting at the table giggling at him.

Jason kicks him out onto his naked arse, and Sophie goes, “Well, if I wasn’t 100 percent sure I was a lesbian before, I definitely am now!”

Sophie sees Sian out later, taking Tommy’s clothes back to him, and she’s like, “I’m making tea, so hurry home. Also, wash your hands when you’re done.” Sian giggles and says, “You are so turning into your mother.”

Have you guys read Stieg Larsson’s Millennium Trilogy? The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo and all that? Ol’ Stieg gets a lot of grief for the details, details, details, but there’s something to be said about knowing the mundane things about a character. Like, I know Lisbeth Salander is a badass genius hacker with a penchant for flame-thrower levels of vengeance. But also I know she buys all her groceries at the 7-Eleven at Götgatan, and by “groceries” I mean she lives off Billy’s Pan Pizzas and frozen fish casseroles. And that’s the real beauty of Corrie, right? You don’t just know about these characters; you know these characters, because week in and week out for fifty years, they’re showing up in your living room and letting you into their lives.

I mean, the insanity of Pretty Little Liars is an absolute treat. And the angst and absurdity of Glee is a rollicking good time. But I’m not sure there have ever been any shows — save maybe Tina and Bette’s relationship on the first season of The L Word — that just let us see lesbian couples enjoying one another. I love Sophie and Sian’s relationship for a million reasons. I mean, yes, the cultural impact, of course. And obviously, the way Brooke and Sacha ship them so. But mostly I just enjoy watching Sophie and Sian be, which is, of course, exactly what they wanted all along.

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