If there’s one thing we — me, you, our entire AfterEllen.com writing staff — treasure it’s our crushes on our favorite fictional characters. In honor of New York’s historic marriage equality bill last weekend, we’re taking those crushes to the next level. In fact, we’re taking them to the chapel. These are the fictional characters we’d happily gay marry.
Lesley Goldberg: Two words: Deb Morgan.
Dorothy Snarker: Liz Lemon, duh. But if she was too busy eating her Teamster sandwich I’d also gay marry Leslie Knope in a heartbeat.
Lindsey Byrnes: Oh, how fun! A fictional character to go with my fictional marriage that would indeed only be recognized in a fictional scenario where I live anyway.
Not to sound bitter or anything.
Drummerdeeds: I feel you, Lindsey.
But Naya Rivera — I mean Santana Lopez — and I would be very happily gay married in a lesbian convent in Tribeca. Three cheers (and Cheerios) for NY marriage equality!
TheLinster: I have been rewatching the first two seasons of B.J. Fletcher, Private Eye and am once again madly in love with Georgia (“George”) Drew.
That cocked eyebrow gets me every time.
Heather Hogan: River Song. Me and her, time and space, you watch us gay marry.
Dara Nai: I would gay marry Mrs. Smith (Angelina Jolie) after she divorced Mr. Smith (Brad Pitt) and here’s why. She’s smoking hot, successful, edgy, and would keep our lesbian love nest safe from burglars. Her divorce from Mr. Smith would be amicable, and we would hang out with Brad, I mean Mr. Smith, sometimes.
For our wedding, Melissa McCarthy as Megan in Bridesmaids would be in charge of the bachelorette plans, so she could realize her dream and arrange a cage fighting party. With strippers. Then, Melissa would come back as Marbles Harsgrove, and give a toast at our reception, and include an important warning about E. coli.
Bridget McManus: OK, honestly, I really wouldn’t even pretend to marry anyone but Karman. (Seriously, she’s that awesome.) But if I have to play along then I chose Hermione Granger (in ten years). I love smart women and I would just sit and stare (and drool) while she read from an array magic books and pronounced words that I didn’t understand. Yes, she could put on a spell on me when I pissed her off but I’ll take my chances. And Ron Wesley could be our lesbro.
Karman Kregloe: If I weren’t already gay-married in real life to Bridget McManus, I would gay marry Modern Family’s Gloria Delgado-Pritchett (Sofia Vergara). Jay is bound to kick the bucket before her (they talk about this all the time!) and Gloria’s too hot to just mope around alone in skimpy widow garb for long. She’s sexy, outrageous, crafty and hysterically funny. My mother always did say that I require constant entertainment. Anyway, the first order of business would be to send her son, Manny, off to boarding school. He’s a good kid, but I think he’d make a better pen pal.
Who would you gay marry?