Afternoon Delight: Jordana Brewster heads for “Dallas,” “Modern Family” on “Inside the Actors Studio”

Happy birthday to Sandra Bernhard! The actress/comedian turns 56 today. If you’re old enough to remember, back in 1994 Bernhard played bisexual waitress Nancy on ABC’s Roseanne. On the show, Bernhard dated both Morgan Fairchild and Mariel Hemingway. (Hubba hubba!) In the show’s sixth season, Roseanne Barr received an infamous kiss from Heminingway in an episode called "Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell," although Bernhard never actually got physical with either of her ladies onscreen. Bernhard told TVGuide.com, "We actually never kissed. ABC wouldn’t let us kiss. As I’m inches away from Morgan Fairchild’s mouth, they cut. I’m kind of glad about that, too. I like Morgan. She’s a nice lady, I just didn’t feel like kissing her. There’s certain people you just can’t get it up for." Oh snap!

And happy belated birthday to 60 year old financial guru Suze Orman and to The Kids Are All Right director Lisa Cholodenko who turned 47 yesterday. Both lovely ladies share a June 5 birthday.

D.E.B.S. and Fast Five star Jordana Brewster has joined the cast of the Dallas reboot, alongside Larry Hagman as J.R., Patrick Duffy as Bobby and Linda Gray as Sue Ellen. If you have never watched Dallas before do yourself a favor and check out season one and try to count how many times the cast says, “Ewing Oil.”

If you’re in Los Angeles you’re probably gearing up for this weekend’s Gay Pride. My favorite Olympic medalist and Pop Star on Ice Johnny Weir will be the 2011 Grand Marshal and the master of the ceremony of my heart.

After Sunday’s (June 12) West Hollywood parade, I will be heading down to Santa Monica to perform alongside comedians Fortune Feimster, Jonny McGovern, Heather Turman, Karinda Dobbins, Melissa Gilleece, Eric Hahn, Jackie Loeb, Amy Snowden, Erin Schauer for Andrea Meyerson’s Big Gay Pride Comedy Spectacular. The show starts at 7 p.m. at the Spitfire Grill located at the Santa Monica Airport.

During last night’s MTV Movie Awards the trailer for The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1 premiered. In the video Kristen Stewart makes out with Robert Pattinson while Taylor Lautner runs around with his shirt off.  (I’m having deja vu from the last film.)

Congratulations to the cast of Modern Family who received six Critics Choice Television Award nominations. Both Julie Bowen and Sofia Vergara were each nominated for Best Supporting Actress. Now if they would only add a lesbian couple to this show I could die in peace. The cast will also make an appearance on Bravo’s Inside the Actors Studio tomorrow night. Below are clips of Jesse Tyler Ferguson and Eric Stonestreet talking about the twins who play Lily and Stonestreet being "gay for pay" and of Julie Bowen discussing how she got into acting.

Last week The Go-Go’s performed during Good Morning America’s Summer Concert Series. The all female band and 1980s icons discussed their backstage antics and performed a few songs, including my favorite Go-Go’s hit, “Our Lips Are Sealed.”

There is no question that Tina Fey does an amazing (and creepy) impression of Sarah Palin. Her impression is so spot on that Fox News actually posted a picture of Fey in Palin drag when referring to the former Alaska governor. Yesterday while covering a story on Palin, who may or may not be planning a 2012 presidential run, the conservative news channel included a graphic featuring Tina Fey as Palin in a 2008 SNL skit. I bet someone will get fired over this mistake.

Adele is sick!  Someone needs to bring her ginger ale and chicken soup immediately! Adele is so ill that she has cancelled her US tour. The singer wants you to know how truly sorry she is for keeping her lovely voice all to herself and posted an apology on her website. She wrote, "I’m really frustrated. I was hoping with a weeks rest I’d be better to sing again straight away. However there is absolutely nothing I can do but take the doctors advice and rest some more. I’m so sorry. See you soon, love Adele." Do you really think she “loves” us?

Bisexual actress Megan Fox will not be starring in the next installment of the Transformers franchise and Fox’s former co-star Shia LaBeouf attribute it to her being a feminist. WTF?

LaBeouf told The L.A. Times, "Megan developed this Spice Girl strength, this woman-empowerment that made her feel awkward about her involvement with Michael [Bay], who some people think is a very lascivious filmmaker, the way he films women. Mike films women in a way that appeals to a 16-year-old sexuality. It’s summer. It’s Michael’s style. And I think [Fox] never got comfortable with it. This is a girl who was taken from complete obscurity and placed in a sex-driven role in front of the whole world and told she was the sexiest woman in America. And she had a hard time accepting it.”

In summation, Bay is a sexist and Fox is a Spice Girl.

Tonight Wanda Sykes sits down with Jimmy Kimmel Live and tomorrow night comedian and LGBT activist Kathy Griffin stops by The Late Show with David Letterman alongside the one and only Sheila E.

Lesbian/Bi Tweet of the Day:

Mondays are rough for everyone, even rock stars like Linda Perry, who tweeted about her boring job today.

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