There have been so many “lesbian teacher” scandals in real life and on film that it was just begging to be asked to our bloggers and readers alike: What teacher do you have the hots for? It was pretty easy to name that one educator we think of fondly, though we kept it fictional as not to get all Loving Annabelle on anyone.
Courtney Gillette: Having spent some days on the chalkboard side of the classroom myself, I know that just because you’re a schoolmarm doesn’t mean you have to look like one. Take, for example, Miss Rachel Carr on Gossip Girl.
Yes, it was predictable to put a barely 22-year-old English teacher in a high school of scandalous youth, but who could blame anyone for crushing out on her? Stylish, witty and way hotter than any English teacher I ever had. Watching her and Dan’s relationship on the show was like watching a car wreck (you went out to Brooklyn to his dad’s gallery to talk to him? please, girl!), and maybe things could’ve gone differently if she had taken up with Serena instead. There’s a remake I’m waiting to see!
The Linster: Every year during teacher appreciation week, I take time to appreciate the most inspiring professor in the history of the universe: Dr. Bette Porter.
Of course, what she inspires in me has nothing to do with art history. Although I have no doubt that together we could historic levels of our own special kind of art.
I know I should write more, but all I can do is sit here and stare at Bette’s picture. Oh, Dean Porter, how I miss you.
Trish Bendix: If Ms. Rain were my teacher, I would have gotten straight A’s. Paula Patton played the lesbian role perfectly in Precious, caring about her students so much she invited one into her home to meet her partner. Ms. Rain was the bright spot in the sad story, and damn if she didn’t look good while do-gooding.
Dorothy Snarker: It almost feels like cheating to pick My Fake TV Wife Tina Fey as the hottest teacher because the role was on film. But pick her I will not only because her Ms. Norbury is geeky and funny and good at math, but because she brings the school’s girls together. She makes them realize they should be supporting each other instead of tearing each other down.
Also, she flashes her bra. I’m not saying Lindsay Lohan got any ideas while on that movie set, I’m just saying she probably didn’t hate the view.
Dara Nai: Michelle Pfeiffer in Dangerous Minds. Dangerous Minds is based on the true story of Luanne Johnson, a former Marine who taught in an inner-city high school in California. Yeah, I know. The Hollywood version was hokey and cliche: Earnest, clueless white person lands in an inner-city school and encounters rough, sullen, minority kids. Initial efforts fail miserably, but lead to creative, unorthodox lessons that finally reach them. Inspiration and learning ensue, possibly accompanied by a montage. Along the way, one girl gets pregnant and one boy is gunned down, but in the end, everyone learns a valuable lesson.
You could roll your eyes throughout the entire movie, but if you do, you risk taking them off of Michelle Pfeiffer. Do that, and you deserve detention.
What teacher had you wanting to stay after school?