Morning Brew – Monday, January 3: How Ellen & Portia spent their Christmas, a lesbian on Food Network’s “Worst Cook in America”

Welcome to the first Brew of the year. I’m happy to have you here.

While I was freezing in the Midwest, Ellen and Portia seemed to have a happy and sunny holiday in St. Barts.

They’re so adorable, it’s hard to be envious. But I am. I’m cold.

The new season of Jersey Shore is upon us and it looks like Snooki‘s friend and new castmate Deena Nicole could be bringing some unwanted lesbian attention to her. (Unwanted from lesbians, that is.) Pictures from her MySpace indicate she enjoys making out with women, which The New York Post asked her about. Denna’s response:

I’m not a lesbian, but when I get drunk I like to kiss. I guarantee you anyone has those kinds of pictures on their computer.

Probably just Deena, Snooki and Katy Perry. Also note that Deena still uses MySpace.

Capt. Owen Honors, aka a creepy guy, is being investigated for taking part in some anti-gay videos. Also, there are women showering together and cheesy jokes. It’s unfortunate that he took part in these, because he really shouldn’t quit his day job.

It’s almost time for Skins Season 5, and we’ve been blessed with the new opening sequence and promo from e4.

Frankie has a certain La Roux-ness about her, does she not? At any rate, sold.

I think my favorite part of Vanity Fair‘s list of the Gayest Glee moments is that they refer to Brittana’s scissoring convo as “The Full Etheridge.”

Do you find yourselves losing sleep over who Jackie Warner finds hot? Well now you can rest, knowing she enjoys Gwen Stefani‘s stomach and Jennifer Aniston‘s ass.

I am enjoying how gay she looks in this video, personally. But I never wanted to think about Justin Long‘s butt, like, ever and I’m sad that she put the image into my mind.

Forget Top Chef, we have a lesbian on Worst Cooks in America. Georgann Coleman is competing for the honor, and she tells The Windy City Times that she found out her wife had nominated her for the Food Network series. Needless to say, she was a little reluctant to go on the show.

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There were five days of me not wanting to do this. [ My partner ] Teresa kept her side of it. I carried our daughter Quinn and around 18 months we had hit rock-bottom in our relationship. Theresa is a real-estate broker and wound up being a stay at home mom because of the market. There was a time when I had to be the breadwinner and we fought over domestic responsibilities. So I don’t do anything up to her par, especially the cooking! I don’t have a problem cooking for myself. I would make my own lunches but she doesn’t eat my food. She never has and she just won’t. At this point when they called me she said, “This is your opportunity to learn from the best.” I was not thrilled about it at first.

I totally get it, Georgann. If you’re crappy at cooking, you probably don’t enjoy it much, so going on a show all about cooking is probably the least exciting idea ever. But I’m sure it’s fun to watch!

If you have a New York Times login (they’re free), you should head over to read this week’s Modern Love about a lesbian couple who were mugged shortly before their wedding day and had to deal with the post-traumatic stress of the situation.

Have you always hoped to hear Fran Lebowitz just say the words “I’m gay”? Thanks to Elisa Kreisinger‘s video remix, now you can.

Check out more of Elisa’s work at popculturepirate.com.

Agathe von Trapp (aka one of the real life people The Sound of Music was based on) has passed away, and the fact that she lived her life alongside friend Mary Lou Kane has many speculating she was a lesbian. However, Agathe did not make mention of being gay or Mary Lou being her partner in her memoirs.

Oh look — it’s Ellen and Portia again, having a great time.

On a recent episode of Chelsea Lately, the host discussed an Indian woman who discovered her husband was actually a woman, and used the opportunity to make a joke about Oprah‘s sexuality.

The makers of Girl/Girl Scene have shared some outtakes with us. Who doesn’t love a blooper reel?

This month’s i-D magazine has a little bit of a lesbianish spread, including one photo that’s NSFAE (Not Safe for AfterEllen), but I would encourage you to look at in the privacy of your own home/dorm room if you ever enjoyed playing doctor.

And because I really, truly love you, Gillian Anderson in a suit.

Today in lesbian TV: The Ellen DeGeneres Show (check local listings),
The New Adventures of Old Christine
(Lifetime 11 a.m.), The Talk (CBS 2 p.m.), Big Bowl of Love with Cat Cora (OWN 3:30 p.m.), Malcolm in the Middle (FX 4:30 p.m.), Pretty Little Liars (ABC Family 8 p.m.), The Rachel Maddow Show (MSNBC 9 p.m. and midnight), Tabatha’s Salon Takeover (Bravo 10 p.m.), Men of a Certain Age (TNT 10 p.m.), That Time of the Month (Logo Mon/Tue 4 a.m.), Suze Orman on Ask Oprah’s All Stars (OWN Mon/Tue 4 a.m.), Married With Children (TBS Mon/Tue 5 a.m.) and What Makes a Family (Starz InBlack Mon/Tue 6:45 a.m.) (Thanks Roni!)

OK, one more.

Come back later for lots more fun stuff. Duh.

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