Lesson Eight: Gay lady friendships: Negotiating the pitfalls
Alright possums, let us sit down together, neck our pints of beer and punch each other manfully in the arm whilst we express to each our deep and abiding love. Oh my goodness — not in a gay way! I’m simply talking about the other loves of our lives: our friends. Today’s focus is not on fag-hags, man-bags or lesbros, but on the pure, simple and unmuddied friendship that exists between gay ladies. Hang onto your ever-present hats my lovelies, it’s going to be a messy and complicated ride. Unless of course, you apply the correct etiquette.
Know your Lesbian:
Before I dish out my most learned, highly qualified, and one hundred percent foolproof advice, it is of utmost importance to characterise each of your gay lady friendships into one of the following groups, in order to understand how to deal with them. There are four clear-cut categories into which all possible friendships may be perfectly placed, as human nature is extremely simple and predictable with no variance whatsoever. They are as follows:
1) Easy Peasy Lemon Squeezy (not in a gay way)
2) Constant Craving
3) A Whole Lot of Like