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Best. Lesbian. Week. Ever. (March 12, 2010)

TWEETS OF THE WEEK

Grammar, American Idol and some good TV news – all of these topics and more were Tweeted about by queer women in entertainment this week.

Here are some of the highlights:

If you come across tweets that you think we should feature in “Tweets of the Week” or if you find (verified) Twitter accounts for out lesbian/bi women in entertainment who you think we should follow, please send us that info at [email protected].

– by Karman Kregloe

THIS JUST IN: DEAR FLORIDA: THERE ARE 49 OTHER STATES. LOVE, THE GAYS

Dear Florida,

Hey there, Sunshine State or – as I like to call you – the tonsils of America (what, you hang down there all funny and sometimes you do inflammatory things that require us to eat a lot of ice cream).

So, I understand you’ve got this new crazy idea to ban some tax credits to TV and movie productions that feature gay characters or other “nontraditional family values.” Hmm, well I could see how during this historic economic downturn, you might want to turn your back a community that according to the National Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce has more than $712 billion in buying power in 2008. Makes perfect sense.

As Cinematical point out, you’ve offered tax credits since 2007 to intrepid filmmakers who were ready to brave the tropical humidity and occasional alligator to shoot in your borders. These incentives can cover up to 15 percent of a movie’s budget. And “family friendly” movies can get an extra 2 percent of their budget covered. Now you want to up that bonus to 5 percent, but bar movies with “nontraditional family values” from being included.

Right now, “family friendly” is defined as “those that have cross-generational appeal; would be considered suitable for viewing by children age 5 and older; are appropriate in theme, content, and language for a broad family audience; embody a responsible resolution of issues; and do not exhibit any act of smoking, sex, nudity, or vulgar or profane language.”

The sponsor of the bill, Republican State Rep. Stephen Precourt, from Orlando , told the Palm Beach Post that gay characters would definitely fall under “nontraditional family values” and would not “be the kind of thing I’d say that we want to invest public dollars in.”

What kind of movies would he like to see instead? Think Mayberry. No, really, Mayberry. Precourt said: “Think of it as like Mayberry. That’s when I grew up – the ’60s. That’s what life was like. I want Florida to be known for making those kinds of movies: Disney movies for kids and all that stuff. Like it used to be, you know?”

Awww, is all this progress making you uncomfortable? Heck, if we rolled movies back to before 1964, we could get rid of that pesky Civil Rights Act and then you wouldn’t have to deal with that complicated issue of diversity in your movies either. Or, let’s go crazy and push things back to before 1920 when that darn 19th Amendment gave women the right to vote. You could just use ladies as scenery then, to pretty up your pictures without all that pesky having opinions and stuff.

Now, it comes as no coincidence that this nifty little $75 million incentive package comes out of the district that happens to house Disney. You know, the happiest place on Earth. And also one of the biggest purveyors of “family friendly” entertainment on the planet. You scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours – eh?

Guess you’ve never heard of Gay Day. You know, $712 billion buys a lot of Mickey Mouse ears.

Look, Florida , I hate to break it to you but time moves forward. No one has yet found a way to turn back the clock to 1960 or any date in between. Progress is struggle, but inevitable. So you can pretend the gay folks don’t exist all you want. But no amount of whistling or slinging a fishing pole over your shoulder will actually make us go away.

Sincerely,

Ms. Snarker

– by Dorothy Snarker

WORKING THE POLL: WHAT NEW SHOW ARE YOU MOST LOOKING FORWARD TO?

Over the last year, we’ve shared with you tidbits about several future shows that could considerably brighten up the lesbian/bi TV horizon. Whether you’re a fan of fitness (on television, not real life), L Word-esque hijinks, saucy teens in love, or Mexican drama, there’s something in the works that will appeal to you!

Which of the shows below has got your DVR frothing at the cables?

<a href=”http://answers.polldaddy.com/poll/2834353/”>What new show are you most looking forward to?</a><span style=”font-size:9px;”><a href=”http://www.polldaddy.com”>polls</a></span>

In our poll last week, we asked you which TV show most desperately needed a lesbian storyline. Toppling the obvious choice, 30 Rock, was Lost. We’re sure that the announcement that Michelle Rodriguez would return to the island-based thriller this season had absolutely nothing to do with the results.

– by Karman Kregloe

LESBIAN VIDEO CLIP OF THE WEEK!

We recently told you about how the U.S. Women’s Hockey team hearts Ellen DeGeneres, and that Ellen asked them to take a victory lap with her world domination flag and come back on should they win the gold medal. Well, even though the women brought home the silver medal, Ellen invited them back and even presented them with gifts. Check out the clip below, and take a moment to enjoy Erika Lawler‘s Sasha Fierce-ness. (Thanks to Dorothy Snarker for the tip!)

BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE!

AfterEllen.com reader dietrich_ka sent us the translation to the new Las Aparicio trailer, which has a blink-and-you-could-miss-it glimpse of the new show’s lesbian couple. The text says: “Why now that sex became something so easy, love became so complicated? A whole woman doesn’t need to be completed.”

The Top TV Couples battle rages on over at E!Online, where Callie and Arizona (Grey’s Anatomy) have made the top eight, and are up against Chuck and Sarah from Chuck. Calzona won the last round (against Finn and Rachel from Glee) by just 146 votes. Vote now, as this round of voting closes today!

Melissa Etheridge is lending her talents in support of the earth yet again. She’ll be performing at the Dow Live Earth Run for Water in Atlanta on April 18.

k.d. lang is working on a new album of completely original songs and also says she’ll be embarking on a Canadian tour, but not until 2011.

Out in the Desert,” the revealing new documentary about the largest lesbian event in the world (Dinah Shore Weekend), features appearances by Carmen Electra, Margaret Cho, and others.

Our own Trish Bendix interviewed legendary director Barbara Hammer and talked to her about bad lesbian movies and her new memoir, Hammer: Making Movies out of Sex and Life. Speaking of Trish, she and her pal Mia have launched a new podcast, Chick Habit. This week they discuss, among other things, The Runaways film, bisexuality in Cherie Currie‘s memoir Neon Angel and how creepy it is for Mia to crush on Dakota Fanning.

Fringe has been renewed for a third season, which is good news for out actress Jasika Nicole, who plays Astrid on the show.

Julianne Moore is DIVA magazine’s new cover model.

New music releases this week include Joan Jett and The Blackhearts Greatest Hits (Deluxe Edition) and The Runaways soundtrack (Various Artists).

FUSION 2010, The Los Angeles LGBT People of Color Film Festival, is happening this weekend at The Egyptian Theater in Hollywood. For tickets, go to outfest.org/fusion or call 213-480-7088.

You can pre-order Suze Orman‘s new book, Suze Orman’s Action Plan: New Rules for New Times for $9.99. The book comes out March 23 and will surely be full of Suze Smackdowns.

Out singer Anika Moa told Stuff about coming out and meeting her partner Azaria Universe at a burlesque show. But the biggest news to come out of this article: Ladyhawke is officially queer.

Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire, one of the most celebrated films of the year and featuring Paula Patton as lesbian teacher Ms. Rain, was released on DVD this week.

On the season two premiere of BBC show Love Soup, shopgirl Alice Chenery finds herself under the supervision of a “predatory lesbian boss.”

AfterEllen.com blogger Lesley Goldberg gave us a nifty report from backstage at the Oscars.

Lady Gaga was asked if she thinks she could ever really find love with a woman. Her response? “Of course,” she told Now magazine. “There are no rules or limits when it comes to love.” In more Gaga news, Rock Band’s going to let you show your “Poker Face!

Ranker.com recently listed their “10 Most Important Moments in Gay Comic History,” which inspired Comic Book Resources to come up with “Six Gay Comics that are Better Than Anything on Ranker’s List.”

Check out our reviews of Tye Green‘s series Th3m, a strong, thoughtful, and decidedly sexy series about queer women of color, and The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, the Swedish film adaptation of the Stieg Larsson novel, which follows a bisexual protagonist with a dark past and a photographic memory.

Dana Delany would like Desperate Housewives fans to know that they shouldn’t count on Katherine and Robin’s imminent end anytime soon, just because she is in talks to join a new pilot.

Malinda Lo‘s novel, Ash, a retelling of Cinderella with a lesbian twist, was just published last week in the UK, Australia, and New Zealand. She’s celebrating its international release by giving away three signed copies on her website. The contest is open to everyone, US and abroad, and she’s reserving at least one copy for an international reader. The deadline is March 18, 2010, and all you have to do to enter is go to her contest blog post and comment: http://www.malindalo.com/2010/03/the-ash-across-the-pond-giveaway/

This week’s episode of the Bravo reality show Millionaire Matchmaker hooked up a bi-curious divorcee with some therapy. And another woman.

Remember when Ellen Page was going to play a lesbian werewolf alongside her Juno co-star Olivia Thirlby? The film (Jack & Diane) was delayed because of lack of financial support, and so Page dropped out and Alison Pill was in. Now it appears that production will finally begin in May, but starring Juno Temple in Pill’s place.

Speaking of horror films, an LGBT Horror Film Fest is in the works and seeking submissions. (Hat tip, Stacie Ponder!)

Read our first CW mini-cap mash-up, which covers all of the developments (gay and otherwise) this week on 90210, Melrose Place, ANTM and Gossip Girl.

There is a lesbian character in George Romero‘s Survival of the Dead, released on DVD this week. Athena Karkanis plays the gay lady named Tomboy.

Trish will be in Austin at the SXSW Interactive & Film for the panel “Engaging the Queer Community” with Bil Browning of the Bilerico Project, Sinclair Sexsmith of the Sugarbutch Chronicles and Fausto Fernos of Feast of Fun. She would love for you to come to the panel if you have a pass or come to the Queer Tweet-Up at Oil Can Harry’s on Sunday night. Plus, she’s always up for being accosted on the street, and she’ll be the one tracking down all the lesbians in attendance with her FlipCam. For details on these events and all other gay goings on at SXSW, go to SXSWhomo.com.

That’s it for this week! Got the inside scoop on a hot new lesbian/bi actor/musician/TV show/film? Tell us at [email protected]. Check back next Friday for another edition of Best. Lesbian. Week. Ever.

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