The Urban Dictionary defines “throuple” as “a threelationship; a relationship with three partners.”
According to Google, the first articles openly discussing throuples go back to 2012 and 2013, when HowAboutWe.com, New York Magazine, and Cosmopolitan all jumped on the “threelationship” wagon.
“This week, a woman called in to Dear Prudence, Emily Yoffe’s advice column at Slare, in a pickle,” Cosmopolitan’s Emma Barker wrote on January 04, 2013. “She’d fallen, it seems, into a relationship with twin brothers. I was just as confused as you probably are right now. What’s the problem, right? Sounds great! But her friends had shunned her for being a total minx and she wasn’t sure whether to keep dating both of them. Yoffe’s advice pretty much echoed our thoughts: You go girl!”
I first came across the throuple concept last year while watching “RuPaul’s Drag Race’s” season finale. On the screen it read, “Derrick Barry’s boyfriends.” At first, I thought it was just Logo’s way of referring to Derrick Barry’s friends, but after stalking him on Instagram, I realized that he had been in a serious relationship with two men for quite sometime.
“Mackenzie Claude was actually the one that suggested it and asked, ‘Will you guys be my boyfriends?’” Barry told Pride last December. “Artist Nick San Pedro and I had been together for 5 years when we met Mack and the three of us started hanging out almost everyday. This was more than a friendship, then more than a hookup. The three of us had all developed feelings. In March 2017, Nick and I are celebrating 10 years and 5 with Mack.”
A few months later, when the “Shameless” new season premiered on Showtime, I was surprised to find out they had decided to follow up on Veronica (Shanola Hampton), Kevin (Steve Howie) and Svetlana’s (Isidora Goreshter) decision to become a throuple.
“I had to make it make sense in my head,” Hampton said during a recent interview. “What happens is sometimes you just meet another person, and it doesn’t take away the love that you have for your person – the person that you’re in love with. But sometimes there’s just this connection that you cannot deny, and a lot of people spend time denying it for all the right reasons in their head, but it’s still there, and something pulled us together.”
In my very own and humble opinion, “Shameless” has a way of attacking “taboo” subjects in the most perfect way. What I found interesting about their throuple angle this season was the fact that V was way more into having a relationship with Svetlana than Kevin was, which breaks the original idea that in a two-women-one-man throuple, it is the guy who wants to be with two women at the same time and the girls are just going along with it.
“It’s not as sexy for Kev,” Hampton said at the beginning of the season. “The sex is great, but you now have two women to tell you ‘Why didn’t you clean up the damn house?’ And he’s like ‘Wait a minute – are y’all ganging up on me?’”
Unfortunately (or fortunately) – depending on what your point of view is about their relationship – the throuple was dissolved at the end of the season.
Up to this point, I have mentioned throuples involving: two men and a woman, three men, and two women and a man BUT…Can lesbians throuple it up?
If you ask me, I would honestly say: No, I can’t. I personally can’t see myself with more than one person at the same time. I’m happily married now, and just the thought of adding a third person to the equation gives me a headache. I must also add that I was never a threesome person. I tried it once and I said, never again!
However, if I look back and I think about the different groups of lesbians I used to hang out with in college, you know, where everyone has dated everyone, a question comes to mind: What was stopping them throupling? Society?
The first married lesbian throuple made the headlines in 2014. According to the Daily Mail, Doll, Kitten and Brynn tied the knot in August 2013. However, because being married to more than one person is not currently legal, they had turn to a combination of legal documents and assets to secure their bond.
“There was an instant attraction with Kitten,” Doll said of her first date with Kitten and Brynn, whom she met via OKCupid. “But I think we all really bonded when we baked cookies together on our fourth date. I didn’t know what love was until the three of us clicked like that.”
Brynn added, “With Doll and Kitten, things finally made sense. It was as if the puzzle was finally complete with all three pieces.”
Throughout my research about throuples and their dynamics, I found out that even though they can describe themselves as polyamorous, they want outsiders to understand they are nothing like “Sister Wives.”
“It’s always the three of us. Unlike ‘Sister Wives,’ we are not ‘Brother Husbands,’” the “RuPaul’s Drag Race” star argued during his interview with Pride. “There are times two of us are alone together or travel in a pair, but it’s never done intentionally.”
He added, “We call ourselves trinogamous. It’s an unconventional traditional relationship. We’re pretty much like a couple, but instead a throuple.”
While communication seems to flow easily in Derrick, Nick and Mack’s world, Doll, Brynn and Kitten seem to have more strict rules about how things are discussed in their household.
“The only difference is that communication is a lot more difficult for us than others,” Doll mentioned. “There are three people so our relationship takes detailed scheduling – everything we do goes on the calendar!”
Brynn added, “Doll, Kitten and I may not be the norm but we are perfectly normal. We are simply people trying to live the life that we feel is best for us and we deserve the rights afforded to others.”
Several news outlets reported the lesbian throuple was expecting their first baby in July 2014 but there are no updates on the subject.
Back in 2014, WND reported that London-based entrepreneur Dimo Trifonov was developing a dating app called 3nder (Thrinder), which was launched last year to satisfy the needs of those looking for a threesome or a throuple.
Other apps like Tinder and OKCupid also allow couples to find a third person to join their party, whether they may be looking for just a one-night-only experience, or a committed throuple relationship.
Like I mentioned before, this type of relationship wouldn’t work for me but you know that they say, “don’t knock it until you’ve tried it.”