The Hook Up: Girl crushin’

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There’s this girl I have known for few years, but she’s totally straight, so I never made any advances. I really do enjoy her company, and she enjoys mine. Then I met this other girl who is really into me. Now the first girl is getting jealous because I’m hanging out a lot with this other new girl. Nothing has happened so far, but I really want to make a move on the new girl. Should I stop seeing the first girl before I make my move?—My Girl Crush

Dear MGC,

Should you stop seeing a straight, platonic friend because you have a crush on a girl who might actually date you? No. You’re not obligated to “dump” a friend in order to date somebody else. That would be pretty bizarre considering, you know, that you’re not dating your straight, platonic friend.

But! I would absolutely talk to your friend about this. Say you’ve noticed she’s been acting different since this new girl arrived and ask her what’s up. Maybe don’t use the word “jealous” because that’s kind of a loaded term and she might go straight (no pun intended) to denial. But do find out what’s going on. Ask her some open-ended, leading questions. “Hey, I’ve noticed you get a bit quiet when I mention wanting to hang out with Babe #2. Is something up?”

She might simply miss hanging out with you, or feel insecure in your friendship, and wants your reassurance that if/when you find a girlfriend, you’re not going to ditch her entirely.

Or maybe she’s mad at herself because she missed her chance to date you. Or, she might be trying to manipulate and control your decisions. It’s hard for me to guess from your short letter, but it’s definitely worth looking into if you enjoy each other’s company, have known her for years and have a general respect for each other. A girl crush is hardly a reason to stop being friends with you enjoy.

Plus, it’s TOTALLY possible to have both a close platonic, girl friendship and a sexyladyfriend. Indeed, I’ve even heard rumors that if you’re really advanced, you can even have MULTIPLE friendships + sexyladies in your life. The sky (and your scheduling acumen) is the limit.  

Now go make a move on Babe #2, MGC. Scoot!

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