It’s a well-known danger that lesbians who have been together for a long time can morph into the same person. You know the couple: Pam and Pam who have the same haircut, love rugby, and both wear cut-off jean shorts and button-down shirts. With a little bit of effort, you can avoid the dreaded LTR time morph. You can be your own person. Using my own personal experiences, and a few Instagram photos as evidence, I came up with some advice on how you can date your girlfriend, instead of becoming her.
1. Wear different outfits.
After you’ve been together for a while, wearing different outfits is almost impossible to do. I know what you’re thinking, “I’m an individual and this could never happen to me.” Or, “my girlfriend’s a tomboy and I’m girly so we don’t even need to worry about it.” Incorrect. No matter what type of girl you are, this will happen to you when you least expect it. It will creep up on you one morning, when you look in the mirror and realize that your girlfriend is no longer your lover, but your twin. You’ll find yourself thinking, “How did this happen? Double plaid?”
2. Join different recreational sports leagues.
You used to be your own person, but now you and your girlfriend are both on the same basketball team; your sports skills and your personalities are suddenly blurring. You practice together, you find her basketball playbook in the kitchen, you start learning her tricks, and before you know it you’re dribbling like your girlfriend. Now the basketball team is like–“Hey, Caitlin. Wait, I mean Ever. Wait, who’s who?” It’s important to dribble like an individual. Or maybe just sign up for softball.
3. Have different astrological signs.
If you are both an Aries, it’s pretty much guaranteed that you will have a boring relationship. All of your horoscopes will be the same, and your lives will become exactly what the horoscope says, obviously, because horoscopes are always true. The only way to avoid this problem is by finding out her astrological sign early in the dating process, and then taking an online quiz to make sure that your signs are compatible.
4. Have different professions.
So, you both want to be stand-up comedians? I don’t know what to tell you. Try to find different things funny. Instead of stealing all of her jokes and turning into the same hilarious person, stick to what is really funny to you (comedy about graphic sexual experiences with ex-girlfriends) and let her stick to what is funny to her (jokes about the South). If you’re going to be in the same field, at least try to spread out across different sides of the field.
5. Get your periods at different times.
I know this might be a little out of your control, but it can really improve your quality of life if you try not to sync up with your girlfriend’s period. It will greatly reduce your need to fight over the last tampon, or wrestle her for the heating pad, or blame her for taking the last of the Advil. It will also make both of you less inclined to kill each other for no good reason.
Have ideas for topics you want to hear about? Know a great LTR couple we should interview? Send your cool stuff to LTRadvice@gmail.com.