The AfterEllen.com Huddle: 2015 New Year’s Resolutions

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Happy New Year! A new year means turning over a new leaf. Do you have any New Year’s resolutions, or are your firmly against the tradition? 

Grace Chu: Even as civil rights for (some) LGBT folks creaked forward with even more states recognizing marriage equality, gay and trans* youth continue to be bullied and take their lives, reproductive rights have taken a hit, institutions of higher learning continue to turn a blind eye to sexual assault, and race relations have gone further into the shitter. One person can’t lift a boulder, but if enough people lend a handor even a fingerthat boulder ends up being as light as a feather. So how about it?

Chelsea Steiner: My New Year’s resolution is the same as it has been for the last 10 years. Learn how to play the poor guitar currently gathering dust in the corner of my living room. I thought I’d get things going a few years back when I bought Rocksmith, but not even video games can convince me to indulge my inner rock star. Maybe this will be the year I become the Jewish Joan Jett! (Spoiler Alert: not fucking likely.)
 
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Kim Hoffman: I make resolutions every day. I’m ruled by mercury, planet of the mind. So I basically do a lot of sitting and worrying. This year though, I totally resolve to make all the time spent up in my head an imaginative motivatorto make my secret little writing project a reality, how or when remains unseen but I’m also resolving to embrace the great unknown. Being up late at night isn’t a problem worth New Years-ing (I’ve had insomnia since Joey picked Pacey in 1998, I’ve given up resolving to find better sleep patterns) but nows the time to see that it’s a tool to use for putting thought to paper, and speaking of tools: I swear by the “no! I forgot it!” moments that I must write every shower/about-to-fall-asleep/driving in traffic/wallflower moment at a party/passing idea down. Those snippets of insight are gold. Also, I resolve to learn the drums because I feel like that’s my hidden talent and I STILL want to talk to Patty (fucking) Schemel
 
Chloe: Not have any rage black outs. 
 
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Anna Pulley: Publish a lesbian haiku book with cats (technically this will happen in Jan 2016 so I’m cheating, but still, yay!). Be able to do a pull-up, and at the same time care less about my physical appearance and more on achieving tangible goals.  Tell everyone I admire that they are amazing (p.s. You guys — amazing) because there’s so much crapstew everywhere in the world and online and it can really make someone’s day to remind them they are great, even if it’s just on Twitter.

Bridget McManus: Last New Year I gave up ice cream and it was revolutionary. (I was an ice cream.) 2015 will be the year that I finally heal my sports-injured shoulders. My goal is to be able to do 10 “real-on-my-toes” push ups in a row. #iamgay

Tara Aquino: Learn how to say “fuck off” to assholes. Stop getting into fights with car doors.
 
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Emily McGaughy: I did some reading about Winter Solstice this year.  When I learned it is the longest night of the year, it felt like a good time to let go of things that may have been holding me back.  I’m not sure if that’s the intent of the tradition, but that was my interpretation. 

I have people in my life that have failed to show support for my wife and me.  In the past, I’ve overlooked it.  But, I’m learning that regardless of how understated their homophobia and bigotry may be, I am still paying for it by failing to stand up for myselfin my emotional health and in my marriage.  I decided that the night of the Winter Solstice would be the end of my carrying this burden.  I worked too long on myself to really feel good about who I am – queer and all.  I won’t allow the ignorance of others to set me back. 

In years past, I have made new year’s resolutions like eating better, working out more, etc.  But, for me doing some real self reflection during the Winter Solstice felt appropriate for this period of my life.  Now that the new year is here, I’m hoping to spend time with people who I know in my bones support me and who I am and allow that to reinforce my Winter Solstice resolution.

Forgive me for my broodiness.  I’ve become quite new agey and spiritual in my 30s, so this is where I’m at.  Wishing everyone a happy and healthy and extra gay 2015!

Lindsay Hicks: Last year I made a big point of not making a resolution, and ended up having a massive year full of amazing opportunities and love. This year I’ll just make one, because I feel like it will help open a few of the doors I haven’t been able to yet. In 2015, I resolve to stop doubting myself, even if it means sacrificing a lil’ humility. It’s a tough one, because I take great comfort in demeaning myself and my efforts, but no more! 
 
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Erica Feliciano: I was pretty negative in 2014. I was impatiently wanting to move from Chicago to Los Angeles. I began to dislike everything I loved about Chicago. We finally moved to Los Angeles and that negativity also came along for the ride. So I’m making it a point to see the positivity in everything that 2015 will bring my way. 
 
Sarah Terez Rosenblum: At the risk of sounding like a new age yoga mat eating gossamer winged pixie dream girl, I resolve to improve every day of the year. No New Year’s resolutions for me.
 
Ali Davis: I was raised to be practical, which meant assuming that everything would go badly and preparing for suckage in every direction. Lately I’ve been experimenting with assuming the best (and finding a reason to be happy to be with whatever the results actually are), and darned if it isn’t a more pleasant way to live. I’m feeling stupid and Pollyanna and impractical even typing this, so it’s definitely a process, but I resolve to come at the world with a positive point of view in 2015.
Anne Alexander: My resolution this year to get back into standup. You know, so people don’t have to miss out on on what I’ve got going on.
 
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Valerie Anne: I let myself down enough years in a row that I stopped making official resolutions. Sometimes I set goals; like this year, I have a few unfinished stories I’d like to complete. Sometimes I adopt new attitudes; a few years ago, I employed “only the boring get bored” and it was awesome. I’ve found that making broad resolutions like “eat healthier” or “go to the gym x times a week” lasts for a month at the most and then I’m left feeling bad about myself. I’m just not cut out for declarations like that. For example, if I thought it was possible, I’d make a resolution to stop falling for straight girls, but that would just be setting myself up for failure. Instead, I just use the new year as a sort happiness checkpoint; a fresh start where I need it, and a pat on the back where I’m doing OK. Nothing official or written down or grandiose, to avoid letting myself down. 

 
Lucy Hallowell: I suck at making resolutions. They always end up more like outrageous dreams than resolutions. So I will leave winning the lottery and writing a bestseller off the list in favor of sticking to things over which I have a little more control. The first is to keep writing. Maybe that’s a foregone conclusion because when I go to long without writing a start to feel itchy, but sometimes I have to remind myself not to give up.
 
The second resolution is to keep working on being a better writer. It’s easy to get sucked into churning stuff out (which, of course, I would never do that for AE) and I want to make sure I am challenging myself to write better, to write about shit that scares me, and to write outside my comfort zone. Finally, I am challenging myself to tell people how I feel even when it feels awkward to do it. I am really good at being sarcastic but I am pretty terrible at telling people around me when they have done something awesome without resorting to a joke. So, get ready world for 2015 to be the year of compliments. Let the awkwardness commence!
 
Dara Nai: More gluten. 
 
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Eboni Rafus: My resolutions are:

1) Learning to take compliments gracefully
2) Learning to say “No” without apologies
3) Finishing 3 out of 5 writing projects that I’ve started over the past few years.
4) Balancing my hopes and fearsmy desire to follow my heart and my tendency to be overly cautious.
5) Forgiving myself as readily as I forgive others.
 
Trish Bendix: I’m going to Paris, dammit! It’s something I’ve wanted to do so badly, for so long—this year I’m making it happen. 
 
Elaine Atwell: I’ve never been a big believer in resolutions, but it just so happens that in the past month I have broken off my 10 year relationship with cigarettes. I will greatly miss the glamour of smoking, but I will not miss the glamour of waking up in the night because I am unable to breathe.  So my quasi-resolution is to look like an idiot with a vape pen until I don’t even need that anymoreand DON’T congratulate or encourage me.
 
Dana Piccoli: After two injuries and two years of sitting at a desk for over 10 hours a day, I resolve to get fit! And not just “lose a few pounds” fit. Like, change my body for the better fit.
 
I also want to spend more time with friends, and cultivate more friendships. I moved a little outside of the city last year and I’ve definitely let it put a cramp in my social life. I’ve met so many great people, and I want them to know that I value them and their friendships.
 
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 What’s your resolution, reader?
 

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