AND WITH SONG TITLES LIKE “PROMISCUOUS” AND “MANEATER”, SHE’S ALREADY EMBRACING HER INNER BISEXUAL STEREOTYPE
It’s always nice to see more women publicly embracing bisexuality, and I think Nelly Furtado is actually kinda cool, but forgive me if I’m a little skeptical of what appears to be yet another celebrity waxing on about how she’s attracted to women, while never actually dating them. I can elaborate on the wonders of beets and lima beans, but that doesn’t make me a vegetarian, now does it?
OPRAH AND GAYLE: SITTING IN A TREE, NOT K-I-S-S-I-N-G
“I understand why people think we’re gay”, said Oprah. “There isn’t a definition in our culture for this kind of bond between women. So I get why people have to label it–how can you be this close without it being sexual?” Gayle, who is divorced, said the rumors used to bother her, because “it’s hard enough to get a date on Saturday night”, but she doesn’t care anymore. “If we were gay, we would tell you”, said Gayle, “because there’s nothing wrong with being gay.” Oprah agreed, saying: “People think I’d be so ashamed of being gay that I wouldn’t admit it? Oh, please.”
Then Gayle said, “if Oprah was a man, I’d marry her”. But Oprah was like, “Um, no offense, but if I was a man, I’d marry Halle Barry” and Gayle goes, “Who wouldn’t? She’s hot! I wouldn’t kick her out of bed for making Catwoman” And then Oprah was like, “What about Marg Helgenberger? She can investigate me anytime!” and Gayle was like…oh, just read the transcript for yourself here.
I SEE BAD BISEXUAL STEREOTYPES
Here’s the setup: a devoted wife and mother goes missing and is assumed to be dead, and the husband–who recently discovered he has a grown daughter he never knew about–is the chief suspect. Turns out, the wife/mother left her husband and young son to run off with the long-lost daughter, who–you guessed it–was never his daughter at all, but the wife’s lover. It was all an elaborate scam cooked up by the women to bilk the husband of his money.
Bisexual women willing to deceive, betray, and abandon those who love them? Sounds about par for the TV course. Frankly, it’s amazing bisexual women can even hold down jobs, with all the time they spend abandoning their children and scamming straight men. When they’re not killing them or having threesomes, that is.
Best. Lesbian. Week. Ever. (July 21, 2006)