Straight people have Mardi Gras, and gay people have Pride. New Orleans may be covered with beads, boobs and glitter for one day each year, but New York City turns into a tubular, boobular glitter festival for the entire month of June. Gays for the win!
During Pride, all the gays come out to play, even the antisocial ones who disappear for 11 months a year to hide in their hyperbaric chambers. This means at any given pride event, the probability of running into everyone with whom you have ever gone on a date, had a one night stand, had a completely ill-defined and inappropriate “friendship,” had an on again off again “situation,” and so on and so forth – approaches one. Your life will literally flash before your eyes, because everyone in your past will be at the same party. Walking across the room to get a drink is like playing a real life version of lesbian Frogger. Dodge the ex! Dodge the other ex coming from the other direction! Dodge the ex of your bff who you’re not supposed to say hi to! Dodge the lesbian who had one too many and is bumping into everyone in her path! But everything is ok, because everyone else in the room is also playing lesbian Frogger – and everyone loves vintage Atari games.
First, let’s start in the borough of Brooklyn, which, according to Ilene Chaiken and deftly crafted propaganda disseminated by the ladies of Brooklyn themselves, is the center of the lesbian universe on the East Coast. Aw shucks, I’m just kidding. Brooklyn is awesome! And I hope no one clicked on that.
Brooklyn had its own Pride festivities on June 9. First, there was a parade down 5th Avenue in Park Slope, which is where half of Brooklyn’s lesbians live, so it was convenient. Too convenient. There is probably a conspiracy theory that could be made about the curious convenience of the parade route, but all you want to see are the pretty party pictures, so I won’t bore you with my knock off X-Files claptrap. After the parade, the party to hit was Laid, Brooklyn Pride’s annual dance party, and it was a gay old time.
Later that week on Thursday, June 14, the Snapshot crew climbed out of their sarcophagi, sharpened their fangs, convened at their home base at Bar 13, and threw the type of prom for queers that you wish you had in high school. All right, the Snapshot promoters aren’t vampires. I was just kidding about that. They’re actually werewolves. Pretty little werewolves in bowties. The lady in the middle in the photo below, Miss Lez 2012 runner up Miss Choice C*nts, is definitely a vampire though.
Now onto the event that didn’t win a nomination for “Best Lesbian Party to Take Your Grandmother” in GO Magazine‘s Lesbian Nightlife Awards, mainly because the category didn’t exist. But if it did, wouldn’t you totally take granny to meet the Truck Stop Girlz? The bi-coastal party splashed down at Slate Lounge on Friday June 22 along with two of the Los Angeles dancers, crowd favorites Brooklyn and Brown Sugar. Give granny a $20 and watch her wave it in the air like she just don’t care, and listen to her holla, “Shake what ya momma’s momma gave ya!”
The next night, on Saturday, June 23, over 2,500 ladies flocked to the Beekman Beer Garden and Beach Club for the second annual Siren beach party. A collaboration between Nikki “Spice” Hill, Sir Sabrina, and Henrietta Hudson, Siren was one of the most – if not the most well attended lesbian pride events that weekend.
The next day it was back to the Beekman Beer Garden for Maggie C‘s Stiletto Pride, which moved from its home base at the Maritime Hotel to accomodate a bevy of post Pride March revelers and celesbians. Among the guests were Kim Stolz, Dani Campbell, and cast members of Season 3 of The Real L Word, including Amanda Dunn, Lauren Russell, and all the members of Hunter Valentine. Oh and one more guest: Cyndi Lauper. The Grammy-winning international superstar and multiplatinum-selling recording artist decided to drop by and sing a little number for the gals. No biggie. A portion of all ticket sales went to Cyndi Lauper’s True Colors Fund, which benefits homeless LGBT youth. But as you can see, even when Cyndi was on stage, it didn’t stop a couple from canoodling in the front row, because during Pride, girls just want to have fun.
After mega-event Stiletto closed its doors at midnight, everyone still standing headed to Snapshot’s wolf den Bar 13, where Snapshot’s annual Proud As F*ck party was still in full swing. Top Chef’s Chef Josie was in Europe on a shoot that night, but she left capable hands to man her taco truck.
At 1 a.m. the party was still going strong, but I was not, so off I went to Never Never Land. I slept for twelve hours straight. When I woke up, all of the glitter had been swept from the streets, the only nuisances to dodge were baby carriages, and the sidewalks were again full of dour-looking professionals scurrying around during their lunch hour. Secretly I knew that one out of ten of all the grouchy-looking midtown lunch seekers had donned rainbow bracelets and danced on tables in neon just a day earlier. What a difference a day makes. But no matter how staid everyone looked, I knew that come next June, the werewolves and vampires will once again throw off the suits and business casual attire and howl at the moon. Next year, don’t forget to invite grandma.
Sick of Pride yet? Here are links to the official full photo galleries:
Laid – Brooklyn Pride in Time Out New York
Snapshot Queer Prom – official set on Flickr
Truck Stop NY Pride – official set on Facebook
Siren Pride – official set on Facebook
Stiletto Pride in Time Out New York
All photos (c) 2012 Grace Chu
