TOASTER OVEN SOLD SEPERATELY
Good news for Ellen fans: the fourth season of Ellen--the one with "The Puppy Episode"--is finally coming out on DVD. The 3-disc set hits shelves with few extras on August 29th.

For our teen readers--or our adult readers who were living in a cave in 1997--this is the season Ellen DeGeneres came out, on the show and in real life. It heralded the dawn of a new era, in which lesbians would finally be more than just token sidekicks on TV, when we would finally be recognized as a small but important part of the fabric of American society. The Love That Dare Not Speak Its Name was splashed on the cover of Time magazine, and we would never have to beg for scraps of visibility again.

Yeah, well, don't look at me, I don't know what the hell happened, either. At least it was fun while it lasted!

THANK GOD FOR CABLE
Bravo has finally decided to throw lesbians a bone with Work Out, their new reality series debuting next month. Although the premise--"a docudrama following the personal and professional life of Jackie Warner, personal trainer to the stars and owner of Sky Sport and Spa in Beverly Hills"--doesn't sound that interesting, I found the episodes oddly compelling. It's refreshing to see a strong, no-nonsense lesbian in charge, and Jackie's day-to-day problems at the spa will resonate with many lesbian businesswomen. Sadly, Jackie's clingy train-wreck of a girlfriend, who expresses herself through biting (!), will probably resonate with many lesbians, too. Look for a full review of Work Out on AfterEllen.com before its July 19th debut.

In upcoming TV news, Here TV has a new series in development called The Solstice, which may sound like a dramatization of an annual womyn's gathering in the woods, but is actually a soapy magic-infused drama with gay and lesbian characters set on a tropical island.

Finally, Logo announced this week that they have four new shows in development, all of which include gay and lesbian characters: The Service, a one-hour drama that looks at the lives of enlisted LGBT men and women at a military base, where they covertly combat rising persecution under new commanders; Reconnections, a reality show that gives LGBT participants an opportunity to confront friends and loved ones who have disowned them because of their sexuality; Sordid Lives: The Series, a half-hour comedy that follows an eccentric Texas family; and That Gay Ghost, a half-hour sitcom that centers on a young woman in a conservative family whose coming-out process is aided by a gay ghost named Cosmo whom she discovers living in the closet of their new home.

Yes, you read that right: the ghost is gay, and frankly, it's about time--apparitions with alternative sexual orientations have been invisible on TV for too long! So have animated lesbian cats. Now if only lesbian pez dispensers would get their due...

ANNOUNCING OUR LESBIAN MOVIE POSTER CONTEST!
Attention all movie-loving lesbians with Photoshop skills and free time! We might not be seeing lesbian versions of Titanic, Snakes on a Plane, or Big Momma's House 2 on the big screen anytime soon, but wouldn't it be fun to imagine what they'd look like? Here's your chance: AfterEllen.com is holding a poster contest for The Lesbian Movie We Never Had.

The rules are simple: take a poster from any lesbian-less movie in history, add a lesbian twist (nothing sexually explicit, please), and stir...er, Photoshop. Send the new and improved movie poster (or posters--multiple entries are acceptable) as a .jpg or .gif file, 200k max, by July 10th to karman@afterellen.com. Then an esteemed panel of judges (me and Karman) will choose the five best/funniest/most creative entries to post on the site for all AfterEllen.com readers to vote on in mid-July.

The grand prize winner, as chosen by readers, will win the envy of all their peers and a pack of DVDs--including one for the movie they spoofed. So on second thought, you may not want to choose Big Momma's House 2, after all.

BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE...
The CBS reality series Big Brother unveils the 20 potential returnees this Wednesday, with the first official episode to air July 6th.

Alex and Paige broke up on Degrassi: The Next Generation (The N), but there's good news: Alex has decided she's gay, and she's returning to the show next season.

Legendary 84-year-old Mexican singer Chavela Vargas has a new CD out, Live at Carnegie Hall. Get it at iTunes or Amazon.com.

iTunes is promoting a list of songs it calls iTunes Essentials for Gay Pride Month and guess what? They're almost all artists and songs favored by gay men. Not that I don't love me some ABBA and Mary J. Blige, and you can never go wrong with Bonnie Tyler, but throwing in one Indigo Girls song doesn't a lesbian-inclusive mix make. Even if it is "Power of Two".

That's it for this week! Check back next Friday for a new installment of Best. Lesbian. Week. Ever. or read past installments here.