Best. Lesbian. Week. Ever. (November 10, 2006)

THIS SHOULD QUELL THOSE LESBIAN RUMORS
Singer Alicia Keys makes her feature film debut in the upcoming movie Smoking Aces, as an assassin who gets romantically involved with another woman, played by Taraji P. Henson.

A new MTV article describes her performance in the film as "as soulful as any song she's ever sung — but spiced up with an undercover hooker outfit, lesbian love affair (with Henson's character) and one very, very enormous gun." There's a bunch of other people in the film, like Ben Affleck, Jason Bateman, and Jeremy Piven, but after that description, does it matter? The film will be released January 26th; check out the official website.

COME OUT, COME OUT, WHEREVER YOU ARE. OR ELSE.
Blogger Perez Hilton is getting both glorified and vilified in the media for his part in outing Lance Bass, T.R. Knight, and Neil Patrick Harris - and his declaration that he's just getting started. In a post titled "Anderson Cooper and Jodie Foster are Next!", Perez touts his role in outing Harris and writes, "We are throwing down the gauntlet and issue a challenge to all the closeted celebrities out there: Come out. Come out NOW! Come out in droves!! Can you imagine the good it will do??? Society will no longer be able to marginalize us!! Please, stand up! Do your part! We are talking to you Anderson Cooper, Jodie Foster, Kevin Spacey, Clay Aiken, Queen Latifah, Ricky Martin, Matt Dallas, Wentworth Miller, Richard Simmons, Sean Hayes and the rest of you!" But tell us how you really feel, Perez.

This is a tricky issue. I want more high-profile women to come out as much as the next lesbian does, but it seems like something they should want to do, not something they're forced into. It's like your mom making your sister apologize to you after she took all the Gobstoppers in your grandmother's dresser drawer and blamed it on you - the words somehow lack the desired note of sincerity. As the great troubadours Cheap Trick put it, "I want you to want me."

But these moral nuances don't seem to keep the tabloids up at night. They are currently buzzing with the story that singer Katie Melua (pictured, right) is currently making "no great effort to hide her feelings" for a 25-year-old photographer Lara Bloom, because, "Katie's very upfront and frank about herself and is completely comfortable about [her relationship with Lara]." But if she's so comfortable and frank about it, why are they quoting anonymous sources instead of Katie herself?

I find it much less morally ambiguous to out folks who are actively working against gay rights, like Republican leader Ken Melman, who Bill Mahar outed this week on Larry King Live, and Ted Haggard, the married president of the National Association of Evangelicals. Evangelical Church last week, who was outed by a gay hustler last week. In fact, I wish I knew some anti-gay Republicans to out - but the one Republican I know is straight and so gay-friendly she proofreads these columns every week (hi mom!).

But should we be outing the Jodie Foster's and Queen Latifah's of the world, assuming they're not actively working against us? Or is staying in the closet itself a form of working against us? Give us your opinion in this quick poll:

But to be clear: if I find out Sanaa Lathan or Lauren Graham is gay, all bets are off. I'm just sayin'.

LESBIAN QUOTE OF THE WEEK
"It was funny, that part came in the middle of a trilogy of lesbian roles for me. I had just played a closeted lesbian suburban wife in an indie movie, and then I played a lesbian detective on Karen Sisco. Do I give off a girl-on-girl vibe, I wonder? Or is it because I'm tall? I guess the chicks just dig me!"

- Grey's Anatomy star Kate Walsh in the November issue of Women's Health magazine, on playing Sandra Oh's girlfriend in 2003's Under the Tuscan Sun