Last month, I wondered aloud whether marketers were actively evil or actively idiotic or just acting on autopilot when it came to using Photoshop. This month, I think we have our answer: they are a bunch of actively evil idiots on autopilot.
The latest victim of their digital nip and tuck is none other than famously curvy, famously sexy Christina Hendricks. To which I yell, at the top of my lungs into a megaphone, “Hey, dumbasses, KNOCK IT OFF!”
In its new campaign, London Fog Photoshopped Christina’s figure to give her an obviously slimmer waist and hips. And, being the actively evil idiots on autopilot that they are, they also included a series of behind-the-scenes photos and videos that were not altered. Jezebel did an in-depth side-by-side analysis of the Photoshopfoolery.
Look, if you hire Christina as your spokesmodel, you are going to get Christina as your spokesmodel. Everyone knows what she looks like. Everyone with a pulse loves what she looks like. So why then would you change what she looks like? How freaking dumb are you?
Christina Hendricks needs no enhancement. Christina Hendricks needs no retouching. Christina Hendricks needs no manipulation (well, at least not the digital kind). Christina Hendricks just needs to sit in a chair with an improperly buttoned shirt for the whole world will pass out. You know, like this.
Making Christina not look like Christina does not make me want to buy your coats. In fact, it does the exact opposite. It makes me want to throw your damn coat off of her and leave it trampled on the ground in a forgotten heap. But, then, there might be other reasons for that inclination, especially after watching this un-Photoshopped behind-the-scenes video of Christina’s shoot. You might want to bite down on a pencil so you don’t swallow your tongue.
I think I’ve proved my point: stop being a bunch of actively evil idiots on autopilot with your stupid Photoshopping. Don’t make me get out my megaphone again.