Back at the Dawson-Casey love nest, Dawson is filing a brief with the Supreme Court. No, that’s just the application. Casey walks by with a bottle of ketchup, a cup of steaming coffee, some sticky buns, and a plate of nachos. Dawson tells him to take his messy snacks and clumsy hands elsewhere. If he spills on her paperwork she’ll never get to be a firefighter. He dumps the whole load on the forms. Just kidding. He says he can make all the paperwork disappear with one call to Jones’ dad. Then he tells her all about how he and Boden have to get Jones dinged from the program. He’s still confused by Dawson being unhappy about a woman being forced to do something against her will. Bitches, am I right?
Severide walks into his apartment to find Benny and Shay feasting on a fish called crappy. Benny caught it ice fishing with Norm “Son of a” Gunderson. Didya know that Margie made Detective? Oh you betcha. Anyway, Benny says some cryptic shit about people getting lost way out in the wild and frankly, I might order take-out on the off chance that you spell crappy K-E-E-L-E-R and Benny’s running a Fried Green Tomatoes thing. “Secret’s in the sauce.”
Herrmann looks like he rode a horse bareback for one hundred miles. So much for being pain free. Dawson begs him to tell his wife and leave her tapas party alone but when Herrmann commits to something stupid he won’t stop until he’s finished (or sterilized). Mills is giving Jones some more advice because the last round was spectacular. He tells her to go apologize to Boden. She’s confused because “I’m sorry” isn’t in her vocabulary but through a combination of talking slowly and hand gestures, Mills gets her to understand. It’s a little like watching someone give tourists directions in a foreign language.
Benny walks into CPD looking for Voight. He seems a little shaky and leaves his number with the desk sergeant and asks Voight to give him a call. Meanwhile, the crew is called to help a guy stuck on a collapsed stairwell. Jones volunteers to get lowered down since she’s the lightest. She get to the guy and unhooks her line to let him go down alone. Then the structure shifts as she tries to get reattached. She reaches the line and gets out safely.
Back at 51, Jones apologizes to Boden and Casey and tells them that being a firefighter is a lifelong dream and she won’t do anything stupid to jeopardize it. Or at least she won’t do anything else stupid. After she leaves Casey asks the Chief is they really have to kill Bambi. The Chief says, feel free to tell her dad to shove it but I like my job.
Benny and Voight are drinking Scotch and chatting about murder. Voight says, “Go home take a rest. You must be tired from all that killing.” Then he tells Benny he’s a good dad. There are a lot of different ways to be a good dad, but I’m not sure there’s a card for “Thanks for all the murder, Pop!”
It’s time for the anniversary/vasectomy/tapas party at Molly’s. The two families are standing opposite each other just staring like it’s the dance in Footloose. Dawson just got the good news that she can retake the test and Casey goes and tells her he made a phone call on her behalf. Way to make her feel good about her accomplishments, douche. Thank god, Herrmann interrupts Dawson and Casey sucking face to tell everyone he got his junk snipped. He has Cindy open her present. It’s a dick (cake) in a box. Everyone sings, “Step one, cut a hole in the box, step two…” Cindy is thrilled. Finally, sex without the fear of creating more Herrmanns.
Everyone dances, including the adorkable Shawson. They chat about what part of the cake they got and Shay makes a joke about it being the first time she had a johnson in her mouth. This lovely moment is broken up by the voice on the radio. He appears, gives Dawson a icky hug, and ask for the beer he was promised. Smells like stalker to me. Otis hurries over to Severide and is really worried about the fact that Keeler is still out there somewhere. Severide summons his best Idgie Threadgoode and says, “He ain’t out there anymore, Otis.”