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“Chicago Fire” recap (2.12): “A big lesbian hug”

Previously on Chicago Fire, Shay got a new partner who sings “taste of her cherry Chapstick” while protesting about how much she doesn’t like the gays. Mills and Clarke were locked in a heated will they/won’t they while Clarke was a suspect for murder (did he/didn’t he). Turns out he didn’t but was covering for his wife. Casey’s brain was just not quite right after a tornado dropped a house on his head. Dawson started training to be a firefighter and Master Chief Severide gave her a hard time. Otis romanced little Severide like a regular AV Club, Dungeons and Dragons-playing nerd and it was a glorious, awkward sight.

At the fire academy, Severide is giving a practice test to the candidates. Dawson grabs her No. 2 pencil and gets to work. Jones slips her cell phone out from under her leg while Severide’s back is turned starts cheating. Gabriela Hastings-Granger does not approve.

At 51, Boden asks Casey for the report on the fire where Casey got his head bashed in. Casey says, no problem, right away Chief. Boden asks if Casey is feeling okay and Casey lies about being tip top, no problems and promises to have the report done immediately, or as soon as he can remember anything about what happened.

Mills walks into the common room and Herrmann razzes him about his three sizes too small Squad T-shirt. What? Clarke appreciates a man who shows off his figure. Mills is on high alert for potential pranks and triple checks his chair before sitting down. Shay asks Casey how Dawson is doing and says how much she misses making out with her in the back of the rig. Rafferty sips her tea and checks the WNBA scores while cracking that Shay sure knows how to make the new kid feel welcome. She cracks right back at Rafferty needs to bring more than homophobia and bad eye makeup to the table if she wants to stay in the running for the America’s Next Top (oh please, don’t pretend you don’t think Dawson is a top).

Herrmann asks if Dawson will be around later because they need to try to come up with $50 grand or the bank will take Molly’s. Severide saunters in and he and Casey talk about the their wood. Get out of the gutter, he means actual lumber. They need a way to get it to their treehouse building site. No one had a trucking connection who can help but Mouch wants to know if Mills will still be cooking for everyone even though he’s not the candidate any more. Mills says he’s only cooking for Clarke these days so Severide offers to get Katie to cook for them until they sort out a schedule. At the mention of the Sheveride, Otis perks up and Shay is all over it. She tells Otis he better shut it down because if he dates Katie and things go south, Severide will probably kill Otis and she’s sick of her lezbros getting arrested for murder.

Shay and Rafferty wander into the hall and the lawyer Shay dodged last week is here with a folder and some news for Shay. Darryl left her everything he had. She doesn’t want any of it, not the apartment, not the stuff in it, she wants to put this whole horrible incident behind her. The lawyer hands her a folder and says, “Tough luck, lady!” and skips off down the hall. Before it can sink in they are called out to an apartment building fire. It started with a propane grill being used indoors. The Chief yells at the lady for cooking indoors but gets his ass handed to him by another woman who tells him their dirtbag landlord doesn’t put the heat on so they are doing whatever they can to stay warm.

At the fire academy, Dawson and jones are engaged in a G.I. Jane-style workout session. Jones is pleased to announce two more recruits rang the bell and are gone from training. She tells Dawson she can handle all the physical stuff but has dyslexia so the tests and reading are hard for her. Dawson points out that she’s not the only one with dyslexia to go through the academy and tells her to talk to Severide. Jones whines that Severide doesn’t like her and Dawson storms off to study channeling her best Hermione “I can’t believe you are using the Half Blood Prince’s textbook” Granger.

Back at 51 Shay is going through Darryl’s papers and Herrmann really wants to know just how much blood money they’re talking about. Clarke interprets one of the pages and tells Shay Darryl was in the Navy. Cruz tells Mills there’s a guy there to see him and Mills is suspicious that this is a prank. The guy claims to be a reporter and wants to ask Mills about being named to Squad at such a tender age. Mills suspects its a prank and proceeds to give the most ridiculous answers possible.

Out at the construction site Casey tells Severide he needs some help with the accident report because despite being totally fine, one hundred percent a-OK to come back to work, he can’t remember the two days leading up to the accident. Severide balks but eventually agrees to help.

Boden makes a house call on the landlord and reads him the extensive Wallace Boden riot act. He tells him that he better make sure that pretty lady is warm or else his building are going to be seeing a lot of the fire inspector, building inspector, and probably all of Chicago P.D. (you may have heard they like to cross over every now and again).

Across town Shay is staring at her new apartment and working up the courage to go in. When she enters the place is still covered with Darryl’s blood. She fights flashbacks and tears as she looks around the room. Just when Shay seems to be calming down, she turns around finds a creepy guy standing there. It’s scary as hell. The guy turns out to be Jed, Darryl’s brother, and he wants to know why Shay is getting all of Darryl’s stuff, including the apartment. She tells him that she’s sorry and that he can have the money. There’s something shady about this dude, Shay. Maybe next time bring someone with you? I know Rafferty is a pain but, come on, use your head.

Back at 51, Casey is helping Dawson get over her fear of wearing the firefighter’s mask. She’s claustrophobic and he tells her to just wear the thing while she’s doing normal stuff like watching Orange is the New Black over at Shay’s (they’re both all about Pipex). she tells him that Jones is a big fat cheater and asks if she should tell Severide. He tells her absolutely not and to concentrate on being awesome. What ever happened to the honor code, man?

Mills walks into the garage looking very smug until he sits down and his chair collapses under him. He snarls about the prank and the one with the reporter but Otis, Mouch, and Cruz play dumb about the reporter and Mills starts to freak. Little Severide walks in with food and Otis sprints to open the door for her. Otis tells Katie that he feels bad playing board games and making out with her without telling Severide. He says he’ll talk to Severide but it looks like he lost his appetite. Good luck buddy, hoping you don’t get murdered. He stride out to the garage and starts talking to Severide. Severide feigns confusion and fires up a gigantic chainsaw. Otis scurries away but returns and gets Severide’s blessing to date the sister Kelly has known for all of 20 minutes.

Inside Mills is panic-calling the reporter who, it turns out, actually does work for the Sun Times. Sadly, the reporter’s voicemail is full so Mills can’t leave a message. Oh it’s fun to watch Mills freak out. Shay tells Dawson that she talked to the lawyer and has figured out the best way to hand everything over to Jed. Herrmann wants to know, hypothetically, just how much of Molly’s the money would save. Shay thinks it’s about forty grand and Herrmann almost needs the Heimlich. The ambulance gets called out and Dawson hops up to join the call. Old habits die hard, especially for Shawson. Dawson settles for a pat on the arm from Shay and the consolations prize of staring at Shay’s ass as she walks out the door.

The call is to a shopping mall where a lady has gotten her hair stuck in an escalator. It’s gross and it recalls Vera’s accident on Bomb Girls. Rafferty is impressed by Shay’s quick thinking, and Sixteen Candles-inspired hair cutting technique. They get the lady out and end up at the hospital where people seem to know Rafferty. The lady wants to thank Shay and it turns out she owns a trucking company, looks like Severide and Casey are going to get some help with their wood after all. Kendra, the doc who used to give Shay all the medical info HIPAA is supposed to protect, shows up and she and Shay have a big old lesbian hug. Rafferty scurries back to the rig and Shay’s spidey sense tingles. Turns out Rafferty had been a resident at the hospital until her fiance got Hodgkins disease and died. Rafferty makes a crack about Subarus when Shay gets in but Shay lets it go.

Back at 51, the lady from the fire comes to thank Boden for getting the landlord to fix the heat and offers to warm him up with some butternut squash and sex. Boden doesn’t speak flirting so Mills has to interpret for him. Wally’s got a date!

Up in the locker room, Clarke come in to tell Shay that he found out that Jed has been taking Darryl’s Navy pension for a long time now. Herrmann and Otis take the opportunity to point out that they would be the perfect beneficiaries of all the money Shay doesn’t want. Shay slams her locker and tells them she doesn’t want the money. Dude, they are happy to help you not keep the money. Herrmann can make money disappear faster than a child actor’s parents.

Casey and Dawson are having a lovely dinner except for the fact that Casey is too busy staring at another guy. He gets into it with the guy over nothing. He pushes the guy over and then gets chucked from the restaurant. Dawson’s hungry, annoyed, and surely alarmed by Casey’s temper tantrum. Casey, next time stare at your incredibly beautiful girlfriend. The next morning he asks her to look for a new place with him and she tells him he needs to be honest with her. He says he’s just tired and getting back into the swing of things. Dude, don’t you watch Grey’s Anatomy?

Later Dawson and Jones are in line to go into the smoke chamber. She’s nervous and Jones tells her it will be fine. They go in and it’s dark and smokey and Dawson gets stuck in a tight space. Her mask falls off and she starts to panic when she can’t find it. Jones helps her out and they make it through. Dawson thanks Jones who says it’s OK, she owed her one.

Mills is a little jumpy back at 51. He asks the Chief if he’s reading the Sunday paper, even though it’s Friday. He tries to tell Boden that he made an ass out of himself in the interview. Boden just gets up and tells Mills he’s going to go see that nice squash lady. Watching Mills freak out should be an Olympic event. It’s just too much fun.

Shay and Rafferty are doing some laundry. Rafferty is relieved her load is done so Shay’s rainbow pj’s and flannel shirt collection won’t infect her stuff with the gay. Shay takes the crack with a smile and tell Rafferty that if she ever needs anyone to talk to that she’s there. Rafferty gives her the Claire Danes patented chin quiver and a big old lesbian hug.

Severide gives Casey his homework and part of me hopes he wrote the thing in crayon or in verse so Casey looks like an idiot. Otis walks in with Herrmann and reveals that they didn’t get an extension to pay the bank. The guys try to convince Herrmann that Molly’s was a great bar and should go out with a bang, one last epic party. They all get called to save a guy who fell down a smoke stack of a skyscraper. Mills goes down the pipe to get baby Jessica out. No pressure, only a 30 foot drop if the guy slips. Mills gets the guy and a pat on the back from Boden.

Jed rushes Shay as she’s leaving and starts yelling at her about dicking him around. She asks if he stole his brother’s pension and then he gets ugly and threatens her. Right on time, Clarke shows up and tell the guy to take a hike. Clarke proves again that he’s a lezbro through and through. Sharke for BroTP, folks.

Shay got the trucking company to deliver the wood for the boys’ clubhouse. Severide tells Casey that the only reason he made it through his injury/addiction to pain killers last season was because he talked to Dawson. Listen to the man, Casey. Talk to you girlfriend, otherwise I know about a billion ladies who would be happy to take your spot. Casey admits there are chunks of time just missing from both before and after the accident. Dude, if things are a blur get your head checked.

The Chief brings his giant tool…I mean tool box to see the nice lady about some squash. She invites him. She’s hot, she can cook, and she seems super nice. Go for it Wally! At Molly’s Herrmann and Dawson are drowning their sorrows and comparing notes on just how uncomfortable it was to have sex on the bar. Dawson’s loaded and asks Severide how she did on her exam, he tells her she got an 87 which is great until he says Jones McCheater got a 98. So much for cheaters never prosper.

Otis and Katie flirt over girly drinks and talk about going back to her place for a little over the sweater action and whatever the dude equivalent of second base is. Don’t ask me, I couldn’t BE any gayer. Mouch introduces Mills to the reporter who does work for the Sun Times but does their Horse and Hound section. Boden put him up to the prank and Mills couldn’t be happier. “Hey everyone, my fake work Dad pranked me! This round’s on me!”

Capp and Cruz bounce over prouder than a bunch of frat boys who just egged Tri-Delt. The nimrods poured cement down the toilets to screw over the bank (and anyone who wanted to pee for the rest of the night). Shay walks in and tells everyone the money is for them. She loves Dawson and she couldn’t bear to see her sad. They tell everyone to leave so they can have some bar top sex.

Out with a bang indeed.

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